Following is a very discouraged Sarah talking. No, I am not going to throw away 23 yrs sober though at times I think if I were drunk, least I would not feel the pain. Then I would sober up and think what in the hell have I done, so going out and getting plastered is not a option. I have been doing more swearing the past couple of months than I have done I think in the past 2 years combined. While it seems to help for a instant, the pain is still there. I have looked at other treatment options, but then it comes back to the addiction thing and they scare me shitless. The neurosurgeon has been honest in saying there is no more he can do without possibly killing me due to a rare problem that has made TN surgery problematic. There is a small part of me that wants to give up. Then I will get good rest, the weather will not be changing back and forth so often and the pain will go back into remission and I will go back to being my happy self, not the hurting, angry bitch I have become. Oh and the blasted pity pot I have parked my arse on. I will yell LOOK OUT BELOW! as I chuck it out my 6th floor apartment window.
( If anyone has any advice of how to deal with TN and the medications, while being in recovery I would be so grateful. Please feel free to message me and know I will respect confidentiality.)