10 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself

Originallyposted by angelonearth in www.livingwithFibro.org. It also applies to most chronic illnesses.

10 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you have a chronic illness like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, you've got enough working against you - you don't need to make things worse for yourself!

It's hard not to. By society's definition, something (other than illness) is "wrong" with anyone who isn't go, go, go, full speed ahead, all the time. We're expected to work long hours at stressful jobs, be amazing parents, have a perfectly clean house and keep up with the Joneses. If you can't, you must be horribly flawed!

Getting out of that mindset is difficult, but it's something that can really benefit us and help us improve. It takes work, though.

The first step is recognizing the things you do in pursuit of this idealized picture of who you're "supposed" to be. Here are 10 damaging things to watch out for:

1. Overdoing it. Pacing is essential for us; we'll only get worse if we do more than our bodies can handle.

2.Criticizing yourself. You know better than anyone that you really are sick, so give yourself a break already! When you catch yourself, try replacing the critical message with something like, "I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can do." (It sounds corny, but it works.)

3. Blaming yourself. It's not like you asked for a chronic, debilitating illness to come along and knock you right out of your life. No matter what some people may say, your illness is not your fault!

4. Believing other people's negative opinions. It's always going to hurt when someone says you're "lazy" or "crazy" or "worthless," but you can't afford to believe them. Someone who keeps going, the best they can, through adversity is stronger and more capable than most. That's what you need to remember.

5. Having unrealistic positive expectations. We tend to put all of our hope and faith in whatever treatment we're trying. All that does is set us up for a major disappointment when we're not suddenly cured. Approach treatments with the attitude that any improvement is a success, and remember that we generally need to use multiple treatments to truly make progress.

6. Having unrealistic negative expectations. On the flip side of the coin, trying treatment after treatment without success can make you feel like nothing's going to help at all, ever. That can prevent you from trying new treatments that might work, and it can also cause a reverse-placebo effect - it won't work because you expect it not to.

7. Putting yourself last. A lot of us are willing to put all our energy into the people around us, our jobs, our responsibilities ... only to have nothing left for ourselves. It doesn't work. If you don't take care of yourself first, you'll have less and less to give until there's nothing left - because you'll keep getting sicker. Taking care of yourself is survival, not selfishness.

8. Giving up too soon. When you try a new treatment or lifestyle change, it can take time for the effect to be felt. If you give up too soon, you can really miss out on long-term benefits. Give your body time to adjust to the change.

9. Letting stress overwhelm your life. Our lives are full of stressors, and being sick only adds to them. The problem is, stress just makes our symptoms worse. Find ways to reduce or manage your stress so it doesn't keep driving you into the ground.

10. Asking why. We all want to know why we're sick. Is it genetics? Your diet? Vaccines? Pesticides? Infection? Some sort of punishment? Why did it strike you and not the millions of other people? This line of questioning can lead to a downward spiral of self-blame, guilty feelings and increased stress. Instead of "Why," we need to ask, "What's going on in my body?" That's the question that can uncover the causes of symptom clusters and lead to treatments.

By identifying the things you do and focusing on breaking those bad habits, you may be able to feel better emotionally and physically. If you feel overwhelmed, take one item at a time.

http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/copingwithfmscfs/a/10-Things-To-Stop-Doing-To-Yourself.htm

I just wanted to cry when I read this.

I have always had "fixable" pain, in the past.

(Sore knee, physical therapy worked great. Broken hip, a little hospital time,

for recuperation and physical therapy was GREAT. Vision problems, glasses

fixed the problem.) But TN? I know what it is like to be "down" periodically,

but chronic pain? This something else....I never got depressed with pain before.

I just fixed the problem and went on....this isn't going to be so easy. Thank you

for this article. I needed it.

Joyce

Glad it helped you Joyce. Don't give up hope. TN can go into remission or even go away, and there really are many mixtures of medications that can be tried until you get the right combination for you.

This all good to know. I'm wondering if it is the stress of marital problems and Christmas, at the same time stressing me out and causing this. I have never been afflicted for this long since it started bothering me. But I am going to call my ENT and go for a visit and show him what I have found. I was surprised to see a DR not far from me in Christiansburg VA who apparently can do a better diagnosis that what I was given. I really felt like I was kind of rushed through, The sore places in my mouth were dismissed, as not a part of the diagnosis. I was not touched, maybe that is not part of an exam, but was given an MRI which gave me a clean bill of health. I'm gong into this more trusting about this after reading several threads in the forum. I just really appreciate that the owner of this forum started it and more importantly found it through the help of my favorite brother who started researching this unbeknownst to me. God love you, Jimmy!

Thank you for this post! I just joined this community yesterday. This article brought a tear to my eye. I'm struggling with the limitations of TN and not feeling like a failure.

Oh man. Number 10 is a big one for me. Everyone in my family keeps asking me, in different shades of subtlety, if I got TN because I'm overweight. My step-father the other night explained it this way "well, if the problem is that you have a vein touching a nerve, maybe if you lost some weight there would be more room and they wouldn't touch!"

(I'm at least 99% sure my weight problem isn't in my skull....)

Anyway, thank you so much for this list. I need to print it out and hang it next to me bed.

Great article! Thanks for sharing! :)

This is why I think you are amazing Sheila!! Number 10, it took a while to let go of that one, even after my successful MVD. I realized what a waste of time and energy it was..there are times I still ponder it, but I let it go fast.

Thanks for posting this, I think it is awesome advice!

Wendy

Oh Roselyn I'm so sorry they do that to you. Tell them that even skinny starving Africans and Asians get TN. Weight has nothing to do with it. Mean and sarcastic, i know. I probably would say it in a nicer way, but that's what I'd be thinking. SO FRUSTIPATING! I think the social problems of having an invisible illness is just as hard as the physical pain.

Oh man. Number 10 is a big one for me. Everyone in my family keeps asking me, in different shades of subtlety, if I got TN because I'm overweight. My step-father the other night explained it this way "well, if the problem is that you have a vein touching a nerve, maybe if you lost some weight there would be more room and they wouldn't touch!"

(I'm at least 99% sure my weight problem isn't in my skull....)

Anyway, thank you so much for this list. I need to print it out and hang it next to me bed.

Wendy, thanks so much for your kind words, but I didn't write this. I just copied and pasted from the link at the bottom of the article. You are so kind.

Sheila

crashgirl said:

This is why I think you are amazing Sheila!!

Thanks GerberaDaisy! I hope it helps a lot of people.

GerberaDaisy said:

Great article! Thanks for sharing! :)

i still think you are amazing!!! LOL

Sheila W. said:

Wendy, thanks so much for your kind words, but I didn't write this. I just copied and pasted from the link at the bottom of the article. You are so kind.

Sheila

crashgirl said:

This is why I think you are amazing Sheila!!

you are a stronger woman than I am, I think I would have gotten homicidal if someone said that to me...

Roselyn said:

Oh man. Number 10 is a big one for me. Everyone in my family keeps asking me, in different shades of subtlety, if I got TN because I'm overweight. My step-father the other night explained it this way "well, if the problem is that you have a vein touching a nerve, maybe if you lost some weight there would be more room and they wouldn't touch!"

(I'm at least 99% sure my weight problem isn't in my skull....)

Anyway, thank you so much for this list. I need to print it out and hang it next to me bed.

Me too Crashgirl----Balistic!!!! Would have goone offf on them BIG time!!!!!! lol

Roselyn, Especially since some of the meds that we take can CAUSE weight gain!!! I would make sure to tell your step father that information. Oh he should be aware of that. I myself have trouble with weight and I recently gained more as a result of taking Amitriptyline. My doc was able to take me off of it because the one type of pain I was having had gotten better. So now my weight is starting to go down, but is nowhere near what I would like for it to be. Maybe you can mention this to some of your family members......about me???

Peace, Min

I had lost 35 lbs before all this TN crap. I have thyroid disease and it was tough... I am now 40 lbs heavier due to the drugs...I am pissed beyond belief at whoever the powers that be are, lol , that I have this weight back on and then some. If someone even mentions my weight I immediately want to kill them! It will take me forever of starving myself again to get the weight off, and my new size 10 jeans are in the closet now mocking me

Wendy

I hear ya Wendy! I was a model, then thyroid quit, and I gained 40 pounds in 3 weeks, even when I was eating the same as I always had, in a healthy way. I tried to starve it off, and now my metabolic and endocrine systems are so messed up that It may never heal. I got permanent nausea, so I live on Ensure, rice, yogurt, and sometimes other things, and my body is saying "You're starving me, so I won't burn one calorie!" Starving is a recipe for life-long disaster. I now need to lose about **** (censored because its so disgusting) pounds, all gained while eating mostly rice and yogurt and ensure.

I asked my doc why even exercise wasn't making any difference like it used to, and she saiid it actually takes a complicated set of actions, chemicals, hormones to all work at the right time to burn calories. It's not just a matter of calories in must be less than calories out. (burned calories). So I actually worked out until I ended up in the hospital with heart problems, didn't lose an ounce. I don't want your system to be as messed up as mine. Please don't use the starvation diet. It's all so heartbreaking, body breaking, and FRUSTIPATING!!!

One good thing can come from it, but it takes time..that we must learn to love ourselves as we are.

Merry Christmas, Sheila


crashgirl said:

I had lost 35 lbs before all this TN crap. I have thyroid disease and it was tough... I am now 40 lbs heavier due to the drugs...I am pissed beyond belief at whoever the powers that be are, lol , that I have this weight back on and then some. If someone even mentions my weight I immediately want to kill them! It will take me forever of starving myself again to get the weight off, and my new size 10 jeans are in the closet now mocking me

Wendy

I agree Sheila , starving doesnt really work , it went through a bad time when I lost the weight last time and dont ever want to be that miserable emotionally again. I am one of those that when stressed dont eat. It is frustrating though and not healty. You are right about the combo thing, I went to the gym for a year and didnt lose one stinking pound

Wendy

Wow Wendy, you're the first person I've heard of besides me, that can't eat when stressed, as opposed to those who are emotional eaters. If you went to the gym for a year and lost nothing, there could be an issue with your metabolism and endocrine system. SO VERY FRUSTIPATING! BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

Hi Had it,

Yes stress make TN worse. I also had a clean MRI, which means we have atypical or type 2 TN. The best place to find info that is up-to-date, even newer than most doctors knowledge, is the tab up top of any page that says face pain info. You can browse it all, but you should especially look at the atypical or type 2 info.

Best wishes in your next appointment,

Sheila