My life is like an icebceg

Have you ever thought living with TN is like an Iceberg? In fact, most people with chronic pain or any type of disease, cancer or any difficulty in life, are living like an Iceberg. Our life is only shown about 10% to other people. The other 90% is beneath the surface, hiding, like an iceberg. My pastor has been preaching on emotionally unhealthy spirituality, and this is such a strong analogy for me I just can't get the iceberg out of my mind.

People around us only see 10% of our lives on the outside....but there is so much more inside. For me that includes depression, anxiety, sadness, fear that my TN pain will come back tomorrow, or tonight... and so much more. My prayer for anyone reading this is to share your iceberg with others, and try to have someone to lean on, that understands everything. A friend, your parent, sibling, other family member, pastor, elder, doctor, psychiatrist, counselor...anyone. Right now I'm trying to share with all of these people. My church congregation prays for me on a weekly basis. I have a brother or sister from my church ask me daily how I am doing. It is so comforting to know that despite not having pain right now, I still have their love, support and most importantly their prayers. There is so much going on deep inside us that sometimes WE don't even know everything that is happening until it smacks us in the face. For me that was after I left Mayo Clinic being rejected by some of the top doctors in the world, I had no idea I had so much anxiety & depression I was dealing with, until that very event triggered my days upon days of crying and sadness. I'm working on the right track to get those feelings under control. (Thank Goodness for prayers & medication.) I still have days of sadness, and tears. I cried in church last Sunday. Hoping no one saw me crying, I had a friend send me a message this week that said she had turned around in church for a second and saw me crying and had been praying all week for me. Its things like these that keep me moving forward. I don't know what I'd do without my church family.

Currently, I'm feeling only occasional TN "twinges" and "small jolts". I'm on Oxcarbazepine 900 mg in the AM and 600 mg in the PM. For the anxiety, it's fluoxetine & clonazepam. Along with lots of vitamins & minerals, which I'm hoping are keeping my body strong & healthy. Most days I have no desire to have any sort of exercise, although I'm overweight and tired all the time. Monday, weather permitting, I am going to see a new doctor who can help me sort thru my pain & emotions & hopefully make sure I'm using all the right medications, so I can have a fully healthy life, mind, body & spirit, despite my TN diagnosis.

TN is a disease that can crush people. It is a disease that ruins families, ruins relationships, ruins the spirit for living. My prayer for you if you are reading this and are in your worst pain with TN, or even occasional pain with TN or any other chronic pain/disease, I'm praying for you, God Loves You. He holds every tear you cry in His Hands! Remember to turn your face towards Jesus, for HE is the only way. Cast your burdens upon the Lord for He will sustain you. People will love you & pray for you, even when they only see the 10% of your iceberg, and don't know the remaining 90% of what is really happening in your life.

Blessings & Peace-

Until Next Time-

Robbie <3

I love this, just what I needed as I am currently going through pain

Thank you. You are such an inspiration. I would like to know if you ever tried meditation and biofeedback? A psychologist gave me an awesome dvd on muscle, breathing, autogenic and meditation. Then we did some biofeedback to help me with my Anxiety.

O and I was on oxcarbazepine (generic) pain meds and zoloft too

I too thank you for sharing, really connected with the iceberg analogy.
I find some measure of comfort reading what could have been some of “my” thoughts written by you…makes me feel a little less alone with my feelings/emotions…
So thank you, Robbie, huge ((( hugs))) Mimi xx

Thanks everyone! Blogging is tough for me, because sometimes I twist my words around (from the meds, I'm sure) but I appreciate all of your positive comments. :) Always trying to keep my eyes upon Jesus, to get me through.

I feel your pain. I too have church family which helps a lot. Please be mindful that you have a neurological disease which is not your fault. It has a medical solution. Please continue to seek out a Doctor who can treat you with other methods other than anti convulsion meds and benzos...I am praying for you

E