Hello everyone,
I was honestly hoping to never make it over to a board such as this. I am an almost 31 year old hospital chaplain resident who has been in pain most of my life. At the age of 7, I fell 2.5 stories off a gym rope, landed on my chin, and fractured my jaw. There began my life with TMJ problems.
Last year the pain became too great. I not only had structural problems and muscle tension, the nerve pain was overwhelming. The nerve pain had been building for many years and was mainly across my jaw line and while constant, would have significant bouts of stabbing, electrical type pain. I went from diagnosis to diagnosis depending on the doctor. I had a few say that thought it was TN but this was hard to imagine given all my TMJ problems. I finally landed with an oral surgeon at Hopkins who did bilateral TMJ surgery. We decided if I still had the seriously nerve problems I probably had TN as well.
So, my pain got better in terms of the structural and some of the muscular. It even seemed like for a while there the nerve pain wasn't as bad. Then a few months ago the nerve pain shot back stronger than ever.
I've started with a new neurologist this month who is treating me on meds for TN. I'm now on "stating doses" of tegretol, baclofen, then a whole bunch of other meds i've either been on or are believed to possibly eliminate some of my jaw problems. One of these is Ambien which was given in the hope it will eliminate some of my jaw clenching.
I am really struggling as I am not the typical TN type person. My pain is on both sides, it is constant with shocking/stabbing pains probably every 10-30 minutes or so. I know some of my triggers come from jaw clenching, though others are as simple as laying my cheek on a pillow or having the wind blow across my face.
Sometimes I feel like I am simply crazy. Othertimes I wish to God I could stop some of these meds as I struggle to function on them, though I can't funtion without them. I'm having to take narcotics often just because the pain is too much to bear, though they really aren't that effective anymore.
I wish I could simply fit into one group. I wish I could find some sort of clear cut answer for my pain. There is nothing worse it seems than not having an official diagnosis. Yes, I was officially diagnosed with severe TMJD, but we know for certain there is something else going on. We are in the "we're pretty sure it is TN" stage but not at the point of calling it that 100%. We're waiting to see how I respond to meds.
So, because of that I am not even sure I should be in this group. That makes me even more frustrated and alone. I know it sounds a bit cliche but I really just want an answer and a treatment. I know i'll never be free from pain, i've been told that over and over again by doctors. All I desire something that is functional; to be at a place where i'm not at an 8-10 everyday. It would be great to be able to work without feeling like your just getting through minute to minute.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know i'm wordy but I guess that comes with both being in a place that feels so isolating and being a pastor. We pastors can't shut up!