The topic of Grief.. we've all been through it, sometime we just don't recognise it

Five Stages Of Grief (Kubler-Ross)

  1. Denial and Isolation.
    Denial anything has actually happened and possible withdrawal from the everyday.
  2. Anger.
    Fury that its happening to us, fury at the world, and possibly anyone or thing in the vicinity in general.
  3. Bargaining.
    Cutting a deal with a higher deity, ourselves, the universe - If I'm good, can you make it ok?
  4. Depression.
    Sadness, feelings of hopelessness, numb.
  5. Acceptance.
    It is what it is.I am who I am. Learning to live around the elephant.

I read in a book years ago, about an elephant in a room. Everyone blindfolded touched a different part and no one recognised it in its complete form. Grief, for me is like the elephant. Five pieces, but we don't always put them together and recognise the act of grieving, ourselves.

Sometimes in life we get things hit us from left field, we get angry, depressed, pretend nothing is going on - we don't always realise we're grieving. This can be through the more traditional events, like losing a loved one, a job or a relationship. What we often don't apply it to is our health. You don't have to be dying of cancer to feel grief. Feeling pain, is enough, or being diagnosed,

Getting diagnosed and realising I was going to have to live differently, wasn't going to have the life I'd planned, led to a period of grieving. I'm no stranger to grief, I've lost people I love over the years, Wending my way through the list and eventually getting to the acceptance. I was surprised, when I realised I was grieving for the future I'd planned.

It doesn't just stop though. It sneaks up on you when you don't expect it sometimes. A moment of intense grief - usually over silly things, like wanting to run out in a summer shower; hitting the surf, snowball fights. Things you know you can't do any more - for you it may be singing, cycling, or eating what and when you feel like it. That moment of realisation, loss and deep sadness. It happens. Eventually though, we do accept, we develop the strategy and the strength - we adapt, and we live around the elephant in our room. After all, it is what it is. I'm still me. You are still you. It is what it is, usually a pain.

We've all been through it, we just don't always recognise it. Sometimes just acknowledging we are grieving inside can help. Sometimes, explaining it to those we love can help too..