Starting a New Job

7 months ago I made the decision to quit the full time job I had held for 2 years. It was my first post-college "grown-up job" and I loved it. After 10 months of terrible, non-stop ATN pain and subsequent drug side effects, I couldn't do the work. So I quit and moved across the state to live with my parents.

Now I have gotten a new job, a part time position at a local childrens' museum.I start tomorrow morning at 9:00am. I am fighting anxiety, and I don't know if I can win. I know I can do this Job. I wouldn't have taken it if I didn't think I could. I have the best pain control I have had since this started 16 months ago. But I know there will be very unpleasant times. I am not looking forward to that. I REALLY don't want to have to quit if it gets too hard too often or if things get worse. I don't think I could handle leaving another Job. It nearly killed me to admit I couldn't keep doing the last one any more.

I am 25. If I can't support myself, where do I go from here?

My parents have been wonderful and supportive. but I want to get out on my own again someday. If any of the veterans or other 20-somethings have advice I would love to hear it. Thinking about the future scares me so much, I usually try to ignore thinking more than a few weeks ahead.

You should tell your employers you have this condition so when your feeling ill you can talk to them and they should make allowances for you. I find you can plough through it and manage your meds so your not drowsy at work.

They know about my ATN, I told their HR rep in my first interview, and I sorted out some details in my second interview. After working today I am more relaxed. I had to fight a big moment of Anxiety while driving, but I made it and I think I did well. Hopefully moving forward it will get easier. Thanks for the advice. I took a notebook and tried to write down everything I could because my memory is a sad shadow of what it was 2 years ago. Hopefully I will rock my first lesson on Thursday and I will feel more confident in my ability to teach kids.

Do you have any updates? I hope you are doing good with your new job!

Sadly, I no longer am working there. After 2 months of my working my ass off to work super hard at this job even when I was in terrible pain, my supervisor pulled me in for a review. She informed me that she had heard only amazing things from the parents, teachers, and other museum staff about my teaching, and how well i was doing. But she told me that the HR witch thought I my clothes were "not professional enough" and my supervisor worried that I "wouldn't be respected by my students because I looked too young." I asked if I had violated any dress code rules. She said "no, not any rules, more of the general style of 'professional'" I asked her to name something specific that I wear that is "unprofessional" she stuttered for several seconds and then said, "well I don't monitor your clothing!" like I was the one being ridiculous. I said "clearly someone does" I left and cried on the phone to my mom for an hour.

That night I decided if they could not give me a clear definition of what was "unprofessional about me, and offer proof that my appearance was hurting my performance, I would quit. After 3 days I quit. It was unpleasant, and I have rarely felt so angry and insulted in my life. But if TN has taught me only one thing, it is that my happiness and my health have to be my first priority. If crazy, image conscious, immature 30+ year old women can't see that I was damn good at that job whether I was wearing a bikini or a burka, they don't need my loyalty.

So now I am doing online transcription and crowd-sourcing projects, walking dogs 3 days a week, and trying to start my own Esty shop to make ends meet. I may never be totally self sufficient again, but my amazing parents are willing to help support me until I no longer need them, so I feel super blessed. They agree that happiness and health are more important than money, and they know I am trying my hardest to not be a burden on them. I do a lot of cleaning and helping around the house and I call it "rent"

I do believe that if we get creative there has to be enough ways of making money without over taxing our pain strained bodies, and drug fuzzed minds that we can make things work.

HI itwouldntbemakebelieve, Sometimes the world can be so cruel. I am so sorry that the job didn't work out. It sounds to me that they were the ones that were unprofessional. You are much better off to not be around those negative people. It is good that you can see the blessings that you have in life and remain positive.

Like you, I have also experienced an incredible life change since TN entered my life. I had to quit my job, can't plan anything, don't have the stamina that I used to, the medicine makes me forgetful, moody, tired and all with a lovely brain fog just to make things interesting. We have to adapt with the changes ( some very difficult ) and keep pressing forward. Looking at the positive really helps to keep me sane.

I have had to overcome many obstacles living with TN, but I have also received many blessings. I am blessed to have my supportive husband, I have started a small rock etching business and I was able to spend time with my dad before he passed away in March. I wouldn't have gotten that time with my Dad if I was working full time.

Stay positive. I wish you the best!!