Hey eveyone. Its been a while since my first post. Alot has happened. I have managed to loose 2 jobs in the past 4 months and i dont have any health insurance so i am literally racking up the debt. But thats not my problem. The main problem is my mother.
My mother and i use to be sooo close. But on my 20th birthday which was the day i ended up with Tn (strange i kno) she has been extremely distant and yells at me constantly. Im not on any meds except tylenol and some herbs and vitamins from whole foods market so u can imagine that some days are good and some days are bad. When my mom comes home she immediately ask why didnt i take the garbage out or why didnt i wash the dishes (which arnt mine). We live with my granpa btw. All of my friends are in college which i had to postpone because i can hardley move. My docter also thinks i have some sort of fibromyalgia as well. I still have not been to a neurologist yet. I feel like i get more support from my friends than my own family. I was crying to my mother telling her that i didnt need her money but a hug would be nice and she laughed at me. She dosent get it. There are times that i cannot even take a shower because the pain is unreal. The other issue is i have no source of income so im mostly dependent on her for food and my phone bil. When i can eat that is. Most days i dont want to call her for anything because she will get mad and say she has plans etc so i starve the whole day anyways. She will also make comments about me finding a job and then say that someplace was hiring but she forgot to tell me so now its too late. When i do have good days and say lets go to the mall she does not want to go but if a friend says it then she'll go. I try so hard but i realize that it might be a good idea to put some distance between us. I think she resents me ( she had me when she was 16) when i try to talk to her she will say im listening yet go in another room ; ( i miss my mom but realize shes hurting me inside and i think she knows it. Im trying to prepare myself for a job mentally and physically so i can get less dependent on her. But in the mean time how and what should i do? I feel like im losing my best friend and gaining an enemy.
You poor thing, I'm so sorry that you're going through this with your mum. It just seems to me that her attitude is coming more from fear than anything else! As hard as it seems I think you need to tell her less about how you're feeling. I know that flies in the face of everything else you hear here but as she's not listening anyway it seems pointless.
Speak to us here. I promise you that I will listen.
Thanks. Im still really sad and pissed off. Today i was feeling extra better because i took an ibuprofen and decided i was going to treat my mom to the cheesecake factory. I took the bus (i have no car) and hoped in her car. She didnt want to go and i told her i would pay for it with my credit card and as we parked i realized that we had to pay for parking and i dint have that much change on me and she had a MELT DOWN. I could have used my card but she kept svolding me saying when i go out i have to prepare-prepare for WHAT?!?! Then she complained that i wasted her gas money and we went straight home instead. I haven't been out of the house in 2 weeks and though this would be a good idea. We didnt get to the cheesecake factory and she went to her bf's house and i made eggs lol.
You know what? You have a right to feel sad and pissed off!! Your mum ( Aussie spelling) sounds like a selfish cow. Leave her to hang out with her boy friend and you get out and make your own friends.
i am so sorry that you are experiencing this trouble with your mom. i am 53 yrs old and my mom is an emergency room nurse. while she is not as argumentative as your mom she does at time make remarks about my lack of ability to do certain things.
i have learned over the years that this is her way of fighting my reality because she loves me and wishes i did not have to deal with tn. perhaps your mom is also struggling to accept that you are in so much pain. just a thought for what it’s worth.
please don’t use other people’s response to guide your self care. seek the support of your physician and ask that he/she would chat with your mom and explain the reality of tn.
please come here often and gather all the support and energy you need.
Thank you so much guys. I realize that i do rely on her for happiness but i should stop doing that. I really miss the friendship i had with her though. And i will make the appointment with the neurologist. Ahhh wish times were easier but im extremrly thankful. Thanks again guys i just needed to rant and im so glad people get it and b im not alone :) Patty said:
i am so sorry that you are experiencing this trouble with your mom. i am 53 yrs old and my mom is an emergency room nurse. while she is not as argumentative as your mom she does at time make remarks about my lack of ability to do certain things.
i have learned over the years that this is her way of fighting my reality because she loves me and wishes i did not have to deal with tn. perhaps your mom is also struggling to accept that you are in so much pain. just a thought for what it's worth.
please don't use other people's response to guide your self care. seek the support of your physician and ask that he/she would chat with your mom and explain the reality of tn.
please come here often and gather all the support and energy you need.