My turn to give up

General General TN & GPN (Old Site)
1

Well as the many that have read my posts you know I am always the positive one, never giving up. My hubby was in hospital 2 1/12 years, home over a year now, wheelchair bound, on dialysis, but still even as caregiver I wouldn't quit. But at 47 have been told by my parents, who by the way never once came to visit, even tho their health and finaces are fine and they are not that far, they said I was a mistake to begin with, lol, my nickname growing up was mailmans kid cuz I don't look like any of them and they made it all come true and made me feel like crap...I want to let it go but when your own parents say this shit....I guess a hard month, B-day month, another year, I just wanted hubby to do somethig special, but he reminded me we no longer have any friends or family, so who could he invite to a b-day party, pitiful. Really this is my life, he laughed at me today when I said I wanted to kill myslef, really after all I have done for you and if I survive I have to take you to dialysis at 5 am, pain or not. If it were not for my fur kids I know I would have found the courage to end it tonight, but they need me....they are innocent. Have a huge dog show next weekend I was so looking forward too, it reminds me to keep living, But maybe not, maybe me and all the beloved furs just need to go to heaven. My fight is gone. I hope in the end hubby wins the pending litagation and can be cared for forever, I have given it my very best, where is his family, where is mine, where did the friends go? No answers, wishing yall the best, thanks for being here for me the last few years. Signing off, love to all,

Betsy

2

Remember you fur babies need you. For me when I was at the end it was my children that kept me going. When one gets sick, their so called friends make it about them, and will take off. I know first hand how painful that is, and I am sorry you have to go through that. As for parents, they can be cruel. My father is no longer living, but recently I had to tell my mom, I would no longer allow her to talk to me in a manner she was. She came around after 3 weeks.

I look forward to hearing about the dog show! What is your favorite breed? I do not own a dog, but I love the one's that look like cotton rag mops. I also love Labs, and Retrievers.

You are not alone. We are here.

Sarah.

3

I would like you to consider finding an in person

Support group for caregivers. THEN



Id take him …ungrateful…to a nursing home with his bags. PERIOD.



Get yourself an antidepressant and

get some friends made in the dog world… Male and female… TRAVEL,!



I started my life over at 41… You CAN do it!

Im not big on Dr. laura… But i do believe, if your parents are evil… You are exonerated… And no longer have to honor thy mother or father!

4

I so agree with KC Dancer believe me I know what evil people make you feel like My daughter in law must be satans daughter She was impossible. and Im so thankful Blake got my grandson away from her He is three and has TN and his mom didn't do anything but throw him in the bedroom so she didn't have to hear him. And She is out our lives now thank the Lord. and Im 54 and single and have dogs that are absolutely wonderful. Blake and Daniel are here and I waited 4 years for my son to see the light and it was worth the wait. I know what it feels like for friends to leave and but I am strong and they may get me down for a while but I will come back stronger than ever. Get strong Say no and get rid of whoever is making your life miserable.

5

Betsy, it sounds like the world is coming down around you all at once. For some reason this has been a very tough month for many members and I am sorry your are going thru so much pain. We are all here for you and can only imagine what you are going thru. I recommend that you get help, and call 1-800-273-TALK to be connected to a crisis center, says the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Please keep posting and let us know that you are ok... You are not Alone!

Gail

6

Oh Betsy, your note breaks my heart, you are NOT alone.
WE are here and WE understand.
Your fur babies need you and I know if they are anything like my Roxy, they do their best to offer comfort and support and love.
I’m sorry, but “giving up” is NOT part of “our” plan. You know that, giving in once and awhile is healthy but giving up is just not.
You are a very strong and positive person, we have that connection, but we too need to face our despair and realize we can’t possibly be the strong positive one all the time.

If you have no one to talk too and really truly feel like giving up I urge you to call the phone number Gail provided. I will message you my personal home number, if you’d like me to call you, I will in a heart beat!
You’re not alone…
Huge ((( hugs ))) Mimi

7

Betsy, I’m new here, and the others have given some good advice. I may be wrong, but I strongly urge you to see your doctor and tell him this, that you have had thoughts of suicide. And remember, your value isn’t what others think of you, but what you truly are.

MOF

8

Betsy, my dear friend, you have MANY friends here. Please please don’t give up. We all need each other and your fur friends meed you as well. My sister in law was in a similar situation as you. She got her husband in a center that now takes care of him as she could not take it anymore. They started her on Zoloft. She is soo much better! She told me know matter what is thrown at her or negative comments from family, she could care less now. You are dealing with a lot. You are not alone. It’s okay if you need to call any of the crisis #'s for help. You are here on this earth for a reason. Please call your doctor and tell him how you are feeling. Do not listen to negative family comments, they have no idea what you are really going through. I see you are in Spring Texas. I’m in Frisco Texas, I will see how close we are. You are in my prayers dear friend. You are Not alone! Keep us updated. Hugs, Daryl

9

Betsy, as MOF just stated , it isnt important what other people think of you..You are obviously a very loving, patient, caring woman and wife to continue caring for your husband without anything in return.Especially while dealing with the pain of TN with no one taking care of you. I can't imagine how hard that is. Do you have any friends close by? Or relatives who care? In Minnesota we have agencies that will pay for home health care assistants to come into your home and offer much needed help. Do you have something like that? I would even consider finding a good convalesant home for your husband. And on your next birthday plan something special for yourself, like a ahaircut/hair color or manicure. You need to focus more on yourself and your health...You are JUST as important as your husband..I too have thought of suicide because of the pain but I didnt really want to be gone from this earth I just wanted my situation to change and the pain to be gone..Life is good...You just need to make small changes in your life and I know this isn't easy but it is a start...Please do not give up..Reach out to anyone..There is hope....Take care

10

Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart. I am just too darn sensitive and I let other people effect me too much. And to answer the dog breed question, Saint Bernards :) Love all dogs but these big guys are a special breed. The judges like to kid me because I am so small and they are so big, kinda the odd couple, love it! And gotta say for a 100lb gal to be able to walk 3 200lb dogs at once I must be an okay dog trainer, right?:) And I am so glad Daniel and Blake are with you, Honeybubbles, I think of them very much. Again thanks to everyone, yes, here I know I have friends. I have friends at the shows and friends I speak to on the phone, but no one close. His family tries, but they have said they have a hard time dealing with what has happened to him, really....grrr....My hubby is a good man, usually most understanding, but we just have been hit with a lot. He does not qualify for skilled care, in too "good of shape" and due to our income which is 40% of what it used to be, but still too much to qualify for much help. A nurse bathes him 2 times a week, a wound care nurse checks his foot once a week and physical therapy 3 times a week. But thats it. The way I get my Gabapentin is from a Dr that is in no way a TN Dr, but thankfully understands TN and knows without insurance my options are limited. I see a therapist when I can, she has been kind on the price, but despite giving her much info, not sure she gets TN exactly, but she does help me when my thoughts go down, not quite as much as y'all help :) So yes, time to get off my pity party and heed the advice I so willing give others, time to clean and clear a bit as I call it. Let the fact that my parents and sister are who they are and just let that go. Also lost our bestfriend who helped a lot because his wife is a nut and does not care for "Little Blondie", thats a story for another day, sadly they live across the street and my favorite garden time is often interrupted by her yelling at me, really, at our age, have called cops on her and just will continue to do so because my spring garden is going in!!!! Thanks for the encouragement, pain or not I am somehow gonna get my furs ready for this show and I am gonna make it! Hubbys brother is going to go with us to help with wheelchair, haven't seen him in a while, but thankful he will come through on this one. I know in my heart people just don't get things like this and I have to accept it and I am thankful for my phone friends and this group. Just too much lately, also made a bad decision not to get a pup from a breeder I have been wanting one from for years, price too high, but now regretting that, and she is no longer breeding now. Also lost a very close friend a few years back, heart attack, and she was who I always got my dogs from and we were so close, miss her lots. Okay, enough of my rant....I am okay, we have to be...clippers are calling my name, if my older boy can win both days he will be a Grand Champion :) My youngest has a major win, but he is still maturing, but boy oh boy does he have fun out there! After dialysis hubby sleeps for hours so have some quiet time with my furs and then garden time, Thanks for listening and being there!

11

Betsy, I’m very grateful to hear from you this morning.
Tuck my number away and please don’t hesitate to call anytime you feel overwhelmed.
Hope your boy achieves Grand Champion!
Take good care of you, Mimi xx

12

Thanks so much, Mimi, will do! And you take care of you too! Gentle Hugs...