Moving forward

General General TN & GPN (Old Site)
1

As we try to progress in our lives it is important to look forward. Forget the past and move on. How do you forget something that is constantly reminding you?

I am all for moving forward and letting go and zen and good thoughts. I wish I could forget this feeling but its something I realize is a part of me. Through the shocks and dull surrendering I must succumb to, many of everyone have there own mountain to climb.

My mountain is on my face. It blinds me from having the luxury of forgetting the past and "moving forward". I don't think the past is something to just abandon. Even if it hurts. If my excessive alarm were to cease to ring, I think I would cry

2

Awwww. In normal circumstances - on any other website - I would spout off -- you can't keep looking in the rear view mirror - because you will miss the great little gifts in life if you keep looking to the past.

Not sure that does such poetic justice here --- sometimes its rainbows and puppies -- sometimes it's Edgar Allen Poe!!!

3

I think for me, it’s more about being in the present moment
Not looking back, not looking forward, but right here, right now.
Especially if your TN is present, here now, you can’t “forget it”.
It’s constant. It’s excruciating.
It’s more about acceptance of what is right now. Not resignation though. Never that.

Believing that this is not forever, this is just right now. Hope for a better tomorrow.
I can mourn, grieve for the past and future because of my TN and I have.
AND I can move forward, because I have too. I have no choice. Each day the sun rises…
There is no “pause” or "fast forward " button
Although I sure do wish there was.

Mimi

4

I try to remember that each day is a gift. Even If... it hurts.

5

hi Thermometronica

That’s an exceptionally deep and emotionally intense post and I really admire you for being able to put it so well. Zen would never tell you to forget the past and move forward. You are right, that is absurd. And platitudes do not help either. In fact, all they do is obscure the situation and sometimes even belittle it. What Zen could help you with if you could find a good zen master is better to live with that “excessive alarm” which is you face.

Being over medicated to the point that you know you have lost your good thinking and doing mind, and that the intelligence that is native to your being is zonked out beyond recognition, that you are not capable of reaching the goals that were the driving force of your life, at this point, the medications are not doing their job, they are not in the service of a person as a whole.

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that you give the biggest clue as to what has happened to you emotionally, intellectually, thoroughly, is in your last line “If my excessive alarm were to cease to ring, I think I would cry.” You have come to the point where you are totally identified with your pain. This is a mind state that needs some help.

I don’t know where you live or what your financial situation is, or what services are available to you, but my guess is you are very much depleted. You need some close support, and you need it now. I urge you to find out what your options are. Yes, you need a good neurologist and a balance of medication that works with you synergistically, but you also need some other kind of outside support.

Since you mentioned Zen, and if you are interested, just show up at a Zen centre if there is one nearby. You will find some support in a place like that.

Please let us know how you are doing. Or if I can personally direct you in further posts. Just surviving from day to day isn’t good enough. Even with your injuries and limitations, you need a way to thrive, we all have the right to that.

May you find happiness and the root of happiness
Bellalarke

6

I think he is saying he would cry because it's been with him for soo long... that he doesn't know any other existence right now. If mine completely stopped and I went back to normal and my face wasn't numb anymore. I would sure cry...

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Well, I answered to the whole post as a cry of some sort. Perhaps I was completely off the mark. If so, Thermotronica, I apologize.
Bellalarke

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It was a little , but I was going for humor as, I was talking about how gloomy it is looking back, but if the pain "ran away" I would cry. But obviously I would be happy. Anyways I understand the context can be seen as very depressing, and I am very greatful for any response at all! I'm really used to it though and tried to relate with you guys by double meaning of things because we are people who want to be happy just have pain all the freaking time making , me at least, very irritable and double sided.

9

Like right now I'm on a 9/10 but I keep reading to keep my mind of of it. If it just turned off I don't know how I would feel. But right now I just have to keep focused on being human. go through just moments of helplessness and be thankful I have a place to stay and food and basic human survival things. I didn't know what to do, but I made myself some coffee and I can tolerate looking at my tablet now remembering I'm not the only one and it could definitely be worse. But honestly it feels like there is a jackhammer on my temple and am very nauseous. And now I'm going to shower or something to help me zone out this ridiculous incinerator.

10

Did the shower help?

Ridiculous incinerator is a very inventive way of speaking about your pain. Have you done any writing about who you were before your accident on the trampoline, and the subsequent treatments and where that leaves you now? You’re so smart. I sure you could write something worthwhile for the world.

Yes, a good idea to concentrate on being a human, a human who is experiencing almost unspeakable pain.

Here’s the title of a book you might get something from: The Other Brain (The Scinetific and Medical Breakthroughs That Will Heal Our Brains and Revolutionize Our Health) by R. Douglas Fields, Ph.D., He is the Chief of the Section on Nervous System Development and Plasticity at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, a part of National Institutes of Health, and adjunct professor in the Neuroscience and Cognitive Science Program at the University of Maryland, College Park. He is an internationally recognized authority on glia- neocon interactions and brain development, and the cellular mechanisms of memory.

This is a fascinating and highly readable book that gave me a lot of insight into the working of all the glial cells which are a major part of brain health and also have a huge impact on the cranial nerves. There is hope for chronic pain.

Hope you are having a better day than last night.

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Cool thanks. I'm having a much better week thanks. You know how to make someone feel better! Ilk check out that book give writing a shot!

12

Thermotronica, I wanted to say that when you mentioned for you TN makes you irritable and double sided. That struck a chord within me. It's like I want to be my old self but I can't.. like there are two sides to my personality now. I will go so far with my old self and then The TN side kicks in because if I laugh to hard or something it will remind me I'm not really me any more. So when you said that it made sense to me. Ya know?? My personality is subdued...