Some say be blessed you woke that morning, but when you are in chronic pain or even the paranoia when your not in pain but are afraid that at any moment that could change. You don’t feel lucky or blessed to wake up. People will feel sorry for you or pity that your in pain however they act they don’t know the true pain that can stop you where you stand. I hate having to take a crap ton of pills and we have discussed surgery but my fear of anything going wrong or the repeating of the procedure scares me more. I try and not let the pain show or complain need to be strong just the way i am wired I guess. I find it comforting to know that there are others going through this. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone as no one deserves this pain. I hope people find comfort and a solution that gives them less or even better no pain.

I hope the same, for them and for you, lesley.

Hey Lesley,

I can so relate to you today, well every day! I am so tired of pain waking me up over and over to the point that I wonder why I try to sleep and other days wonder why I bother to get out of bed! It's hard to live and enjoy even the good days when you never have one! I have breakthrough pain that attacks me 2-12 or more times a day! How am I supposed to even enjoy an hour? I never know when it's going to hit and stop me in my tracks.

Worse than the people who pity me are those that think they know how it feels. I've had people tell me they had an inner ear infection that was painful and made them off balance so they know how I feel. Wow! I wish my pain were that simple! They can take an antibiotic and have total relief in 10 days or less. I just wish I knew how to cope some days without feeling like I am faking life. I smile (when it doesn't hurt to do so) and try to look like I am fine. People ask how I am doing and I say ok because I know they really don't care how I am. Who wants to hear well I hurt all the time and how are you?

I am sorry that we both have to go through this but I really do understand!

I pray for you to have pain free days!


Virginia Girl