I'm getting fat. I've gone up and down in weight my entire adult life, ranging from 120 to 150. But never have I gotten as heavy as I am now (185). I've cut my meals in half, not in frequency, but in size, and it still seems to be accumulating. I'm starting to become depressed, and the self-loathing is apparent, as well. I really don't know if it is the Tegretol, or if it's my age, or something else, but it's increasingly frustrating....
I had surgery the first week of October on my foot. It's an ongoing thing - my foot has been operated on 7 times in the last few years. This makes any walking and exercising difficult. I'm hoping they've finally gotten me to a point that will allow for those things as it does make losing weight much easier. Strangely enough, there was an upside for my face during this ordeal. I found that when I loaded up on codeine, I felt nothing in my face. However, I don't think I felt anything - anywhere. I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life on vicodin, but it was nice for a week to not feel pain.
Today I'm dealing with a burning in my lips that seems pretty constant. I don't know what this means. I've never really been told what type of TN I have, just that I have TN and here, have some Tegretol. It does seem to keep the worst of it at bay, but every once in a while I still have a day where the pain breaks through. Stabbing pain, right inside my ear -- and then in the middle of my cheek, etc. I don't know what this burning sensation in my lip is though....
I only see my neurologist every 6 months. I don't know why -- it's his schedule, not mine. I don't like to call when I feel something new. I guess I already know the disease isn't life-threatening, and I've been lucky so far. Only recently diagnosed a few months ago, I don't think I've experienced the worst of it yet. That scares me.
On a lighter note, I'm due to be a grandma in the next 2 to 3 weeks. My first of course, as I'm only 39. =) We already know it's a boy, and his name is Lucas. I can't wait to hold him.
Ok, done rambling for now. I might be back later, or I might not. You just never know.... Have a great weekend to anyone that reads this!