I have been married 23 years. I am 38, with five children. I have known my entire marriage that my husband was a mean Narcissist. I have been able to deal with that Through everything. But not with trigeminal neuralgia.He does not understand This nor does he care to. I am Quote making up symptoms. Or just being a b**** to get out of Doing the laundry, he gets so mad when I have an attack. It just makes everything so much worse. I can’t ask him to take me to a doctors appointment or to the emergency room. He calls me a drug addict in front of the kids.I can’t work, & I don’t have any family out here. I don’t even know what to do anymore. Sorry to sound like such a Whiner. But no one understands this And I really don’t think anyone cares.
He is emotionally abusing you and trying to make everything your fault and responsibility when he should be there for the mother of his children. He sounds exactly like my ex-husband. This is such a strange disorder that I have found a lot of people (co-workers, relatives) believe it is faked and we are just trying to get special favor. They don't understand how you look fine and healthy and you don't just get well or if you get sick on Friday afternoon you probably just wanted a longer weekend. People can't understand your sick unless you look sick. I equate it to the saying I made up, Get well or go to hell. Maybe you could apply for Social Security benefits or see a counselor through your insurance. This is not your issue it is his and he is taking advantage of you. Would he be willing to see someone that understands chronic illness with you. I don't think he has a grasp on the severity of suffering people with TN go through. He just wants everything to go back to the way it was before. I'm sure you wouldn't mind that as well. I know I would like to return to pre TN in a heartbeat. In some ways I think the illness is making me make find a better path for myself because I can't serve everyone and put my self last anymore. I'm just not capable. :) Hang in there it will improve at some point.
Whilst wanting to reply with something appropriate it was hmm how? I feel Michelle just about nailed it.
Wishing you well Wendy
It was summed up rather well by Michelle, wasn't it! All I can add is that perhaps you could try stabbing him in the cheek with a fork and asking him how he liked that????
Not overly helpful I admit but gee there seems to be a lot of husbands out there like him.
Catwoman, that was exactly what I needed. Made me laugh. Thanks everyone. I know a lot of people are going through the same thing. I just needed a pity party for a minute.
Wendy,
You deserved your pity party and you will deserve to have them every now and then. It sounds like you have been a very devoted wife and mother for a long time. I also married a narcissist, but I left him. Then I ended up raising my four children alone and forgot to teach them that "I" was ALSO important because I felt so guilty. Just make sure that EVERYONE in your home knows that you count too! You may have to drive that fork into a few people, LOL. There should be a lot of people helping you out when you need it!
Good Luck,
Cathy In MD
I am so sorry that you in an abusive relationship at a time when you most need support. I believe you and know for certain no one would ever fake this terrible disease.