My head is just spinning in circles today with I wish thoughts. Maybe this due to my brain feeling like a fried egg due to medications, trying to keep my pain level unnoticeable to others, and it’s so hot today an egg would fry on the sidewalk (I hate it when it’s hot out). So these I wish thoughts don’t become the only thing that escapes from lips I’m just gonna write em out here.
I wish the pain would just go the hell away.
I wish there was even a small window of pain relief of my pain at less then the constince seven its always at.
I wish that my mind was not turn into mud by medications.
I wish there was a real cure for TN.
I wish that doctors were understanding more of the pain
I wish all of my friends and family totally understood the pain I’m in all the time and how it affects me, instead of just a few.
I wish the medications did not have such crappy side affects.
I wish I could eat without being scared out of my wits about how bad the pain this will cause.
I wish the wind, brushing my teeth, putting makeup on, the shower hitting my face did not cause pain.
I wish I had more energy
I wish I did not have limitations on how much or what I can do for the day
I wish I did not feel as if I’m stuck in a 90 years old body because of another health issue
I wish that both of the health issues I have did not make the other act up
I wish I could go to sleep easily instead of fighting to go to sleep because of pain.
I wish that my house had a larger supply of cheesecake, and blackberry cheesecake truffles.
I wish I did not have really bad attacks in public
I wish when this does happen in public that people would not stare at me
I wish the pain would not wake me out of my sleep that I had to fight to get to
I wish people who are concernd with me would not google and suggest things for me to try, if it was that easy I would not have such a horrible time with the pain still
I wish the pain would not eat at me till I get to the point where I get snappy with my poor caring hubby
I wish my husband was not shoved into the position of being my care giver
I wish I did not have to use my husband as my advocate to get the doctors to listen to me sometimes.
I wish that no one else ever got this horrible affliction again
I wish if I could just take all of the pain away from the rest of you if that you all were cured I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I wish that I did not have so many typos all the time
There’s my I wishes for the moment. Please feel free to add some of your I wishes to the list.
I wish I wasn't scared to 'live'...sometimes I am so afraid that certain actions / reactions will bring on a flare up that I just don't do...makes it hard to really enjoy life sometimes!
and the muddy brain thing
and the energy thing
and the wind / cold etc on my face thing
and lots of your other 'wishes'
We're in this together kiddo...thanks for sharing and here's hoping and praying for better days!
Thanks for sharing your wishes with us, Kari. I could relate to so many of them! I'm not in a flare up of TN pain right now so I really feel for you that you're being hit so hard with it. I have a chronic illness (MS) and TN and they seem to flare up at the same time. Here are a few of my wishes:
I wish I didn't have to miss out on so many important/special events with family and friends.
I wish I had the energy to hold a job and help my husband out with some additional income. Actually, I wish I had energy period!
I wish I didn't feel so isolated and alone. I'm an extrovert but rarely socialize these days.
I wish I would learn how to handle stress and hardship with a little more grace and acceptance.
I know there's more but these are the few that come to mind. Thanks for starting this discussion, Kari. :)
Hugs,
Vicki
I wish I could lose the extra 20 lbs. I put on due to my medications.
I wish each morning my child would not have to say "How is your face feeling this morning Mom?" so he knows what to expect he will be able to do or not do each day.
I wish my child did not have to put me to bed some days and tell me it will be ok Mom, I will take care of you. I should be the one taking care of him.
I wish I didn't cry every day over what I can't do, over what I miss and how awful I feel.
I wish a lot of the same things on everyone’s list especially about being in CONSTANT pain with no break. I also wish “well meaning” friends/family could REALLY understand what I’m going through nd not take it personally when plans change etc. I wish that I wasn’t so afraid I would loose my job because of the brain fog… And lastly I wish I could take the look of sorrow and fear from my mother and husband faces…
I’m so glad y’all found some comfort from my “I wish” list, sorry that we’ve all have a reason for the I wish, but I’m glad we can all take some comfort in it. It makes me feel less alone with the TN. So thank you to all of you who have shared in it and any who have read it and got comfort from it.
I’m up and can not sleep (as usual) and the wishes are swimming about again. So I’m going to add some more.
I wish I had more courage.
I wish Im not so snappy with my sweet hubby when the pain is gnawing me down.
I wish that said sweet hubby did not hover or gets overly protective of my care at times.
I wish I was better at putting my I’m alright face on better.
I wish I could muster up the gusto to explain this to my beautiful kiddos. It is so hard though to break them out of the world and life right now is perfect mode.
I wish I was a better mom for them and could do the simple things like going for a walk or going to the park with the pound to feed the ducks together.
I wish I was not scared to drop my camera or lens enough so I could start doing my photography again.
I wish Im not so frighten to return to work tomorrow.
I wish I do not have to have my ok to back to work letter corrected by my doctor, but it does not make sense currently.
I wish I do
not have hear a million questions from coworkers about why I was out on leave for so long.
I wish I did not have such a horrible attack or build of attack while my father in-law was here on Friday, that he got freaked out and left at 11 PM; cutting his visit short with his grand daughters and his son.
I wish I did not have such a hard time with doctors, pharmacists, and prescriptions at times.
I wish my prescription did not get messed up
this last week.
I wish I had the nerve to tell me doctor that with the mix up and the redirection on how to take the drugs is better at keeping the pain level low then the correct prescription is.