TN is like Krytonite to me. I have five males in my home that depend on me heavily. Four boy and a husband that is very good with taking care of me. When I am in pain ,I find that I miss appointments, can’t cook a good meal, just straight forgetful and tired. It’s not fair to them and it makes me feel horrible. It’s like your fine for a few minutes and then your totally useless the next. My kids don’t know the deets of my condition because I don’t want them to take advantage of me when I feel bad. Oh they will always try you those lil rascals. My oldest will mess around and wait til I feel bad to ask for stuff cuz I won’t remember saying yes. Hard to keep a handle on things ya know.
Hello, Josie.
Both of my daughters have taken advantage of me when I am not feeling well. I can relate. I have one who is 15, and one who just turned 8. This was much worse before my fiance moved in. This has been a big help. But, there are still times, when I am confined to the couch in pain, and I do well to get out a "yes", or "no". Whenever my flair-up is over, I sometimes get up to battle a mess left about until I blessedly am able to climb into bed.
Perhaps it was wise not to share the details with your kids. My girls know what Mom has. At best, when my eldest is in a good mood, she will help my younger daughter with homework, or with getting into the shower, you know, small tasks, until Mom is back up to speed. This has been becoming more of a trend, lately, one which I hope will continue.
I can relate, though, for me, it is, getting somewhat better. I do not hesitate asking for their help anymore. I tell them that it is my job to teach them right from wrong and they may not always like me, but they will respect me. I think maybe, that they have learned that, as time goes by, if Mom has been made unhappy when she is down, that things will not be as happy as they want them to be whenever I come back out of agony.
Yes, though, if you had told me whenever I was young that I would someday handle having a chronic pain condition, and raise children simultaneously, I would have thought I would never be able to handle such circumstances.
Being a parent is already the hardest job one will ever do. We have no formal training when we begin, and each child is different, so no one has or ever will have the particular positions that you hold as "Mom" again to these specific children. TN is termed "one of the worst pains known to man". You are handling a lot at once.
What a challenging situation. I can relate, and I wish you all the best.