Hi all
I’m a mother to a beautiful little 2 year old girl but at the moment I feel like a rubbish mum.
TN pain is with me at some point everyday, espically teeth area. I feel like I don’t do enough with her as I’m constantly scared of the pain coming. I’ve developed anxiety due to TN aswell and hate going anywhere alone with my daughter incase I have serious pain. Most the time I wish I could just have fun with her but I’m always thinking of TN. It’s really getting to me lately. My partner is good at helping but I think he’s getting fed up with me always having some kind of pain every day. I understand this as we’re still both young.
What I want to know is how do you cope with young children, have fun and spend quality time with your kids whilst in pain. What’s your backup plan for those days when you can’t concentrate because an attack is too bad. I’ve only had this for 2 years but it’s really starting to make me feel so guilty for not being the best mum I know I could be if TN wasnt around. She is such a sweet little girl and I want her to have the best upbringing she can have.
Hi Una,
I believe I am quite a bit older than you and have two children, 16 and 9. My youngest had just started kindergarten when this all started for me. I have days I feel the same way about my children. BUT, I try to look at it this way. I go out and I see these "perfect" moms with theirr kids and realize this is a facade, which we can no longer put on. No one can be the perfect parent. Everyone has something thrown at them. The fact that you are worried about this tells me how much you love her and I believe she will have the best upbringing she can have under your circumstances. You will be able to teach her how to face adversity from an early age. She will learn to be empathetic with others and how to be a caregiver. This will bring you closer even though she may have to miss out on some things, that's ok. We grew up without going everywhere all of the time. Reach out to other mothers of her friends from school and ask for help. I do and my son has really learned how to interact with other adults and has made some great friends. Anyone who doesn't truly get what is going on gets a copy of a link explaing TN from me, not to feel sorry for me but to help engage in his life. Other moms can truly be so helpful. Try not to beat your self up too much over this. I know it is difficult and I have my days. Regarding your partner, I cannot speak to that. I have been married 18 years and we just go with the flow. He helps somedays and doesn't on others and I just realize it is what it is. Take care and let me know if you ever need to talk!
Thanks Debbie for your reply
Its nice to know there’s others out there like me who have been able to cope. I think everything’s just got on top of me lately and seeing these ‘perfect mums’ makes me feel so guilty. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve started to try and get my head around a life with TN and it has just got me a little upset about the things my daughter might miss out on due to me. However, I never looked at it the same why as you before. I guess I’m being abit hard on myself. Thanks again