Ok. I think I have been brave for a very long time. When you can get some sleep, it is easier to deal with the pain, but when the pain causes insomnia, then insomnia causes more pain, it gets inhuman after a while. After about 3 days of no sleep and this pain, that's when I end up in the E.R. to stop the cycle, before it causes my heart to stop again from heart rate going so high. Today I hurt too much to go out into below zero temps and wait in a chair in the E.R. waiting room for hours and hours, so




Best wishes and prayers are being said for everyone in this website and for the leaders/moderators.


Just have to hang in there!

Dearest Sheila,

I so wish I could do something to help you especially having been in the same position so many countless times before myself. Gentlest HUGS to you my friend, I pray the pain leaves you very very soon! I hope that since you wrote this you are now feeling better, as I begin to enter again into the same cycle you are in as you wrote this :( as I know there's only so much we're able to deal with at any one time.

Is there any way you can get paramedics / ambulance to you to get you to hospital that way? I know in my darkest pain, that is my only option. I also know thats not always an option for some in other countries - in Australia it's now easier as previously not everyone was paying for their Ambulance services, so now it's a compulsory payment they somehow managed to add into the electricity bills - don't ask me how, but now every electrical bill we pay a small portion of this goes to the Ambulance / Paramedics services. It was annoying as I was already paying them a regular service fee annually myself, but I see how the new system they employed benefits us all.

Please write back to us and let us know how you are going Sheila? I hate it when any of us enters a cycle of pain such as you're in and I'm entering as I care too much about my fellow monster haters :) and I'll continue the fight to find us free of pain one day!

Please take heart and know we are ALL with you and sharing the pain with you and we ALL want your pain gone! Remember we're thinking of you all the time and you're never alone with us here! Gentle HUGS! Be well! And write back soon!

With empathy,

Kerry xx

Thanks so much Kerry.

Yes the pain is better and more bearable today. It made me think "If saying "Enough" and writing about it was the cure, why didn'tI do it a month ago? lol.

Yes I guess that's a good idea about the ambulance, since here in Canada it's free, and those who come in the ambulance are seen sooner. I guess I thought of ambulance for acute problems only.

Our paramedica have an odd, lazy habit. They make the patient walk out to the amulance. Times when Mom was suspected of having a heart attack or stoke, and could barely put one foot in front of the other, they walked her out. When I was on the ground rolling and covering the screams ith a towel on my mouth , ssuspected kidney stones, they made me walk out there. They could at least bring the stretcher/gurney to the door! I've seen other towns use the sheets a person was lying on to lift them and carry them to the stretcher (usually inside). One time they came and I told them I am not going, because there's no way I can stand up and walk, so they gave me a pain shot at home so I had enough relief that I COULD walk. I think the whole city must have a "no lifting" policy, because when my Dad was in the nursing home, he was just healing up from bladder cancer surgery. They had him walking in the hospital, then moved him to a nursing home before he was healed up, and put him in a wheel chair and was never allowed to walk again. OH gosh I'm rambling. Sorry.

I saw you say on another post that you used to love swimming. I do too. When spring comes, I am going to ask one of the hotels if I can use their very warm pool to swim in, because the very cold public pools cause too much pain. Then I can lose some weight and get stronger.

Thanks again Kerry!