is it better to suppress hope and not be disappointed over and over and over again or to be hopeful and continually be disappointed?
OK. I have spent no small amount of time on this one so I am going to give you my (very important, tehe) philosophy. I am a kind of a "win-win" gal. I don't like sucky situations. While we all find ourselves in them, yielding to them somehow always felt like they won, instead of me. Now, I realize that I am hopelessly optimistic but it just seems to me that since hopeful is positive and disappointment is negative, I 'll just keep the positive stuff I like and flush the rest. This stuff has taught me some things, blowing past disappointment like it's bad wine is just one of them!
I try to live in the moment - try to accept the good and the bad. Otherwise I spend all my time anticipating the pain (when ok, waiting for it to come back, when bad wondering if it will get worse). This has been working a lot better for me than the rollercoaster alternative.
Good Timing with that question for me. I haven't been as active on the site lately because I feel like I'm just in a holding pattern waiting for Doctors to give me answers. I AM tired of continually being set up over and over again for disappointment.
BUT I know when I was more active on our site and more hopeful, it sure was easier to get out of bed in the morning. So I find myself logging in more often to at least read what everyone has to say here and there and to try to get back on the positive side of the fence.
Being disappointed sure takes it out of you, but having no hope at all is worse. Every day the world moves forward, so why can't we hold on to the thought that there are advances being made with eduction and treatment, even if it moves at a glacial pace.
Elaine
That's a good question. Accept what you have. But don't let it win. Say; you cannot have my life TN. It's mine.. Live every day the best you can and enjoy your family. The future will take care of itself.
Peace, Min
I live every day in hope, I always will, it has kept me alive and kicking against overwhelming odds!!!! I just add a pinch of reality into the equation to gain reality!
last week, we concluded my gamma knife procedure in Jan was not anywhere near as successful as we had hoped. What set me off was that they (neurologist and neurosurgeon) intend to do nothing and just monitor me for 1 full year. I thought I had "options" and this news just crushed me so I had to ask this question about expectations. Thanks for all the great responses
I think it all depends on your personality and how serious a condition one has. I personally have a very "whatever" attitude and since I (mistakenly) realised that there was nothing that could be done for me I got on with it and haven't been disappointed since bar one occasion. That occasion was when I realised, through finding this and other sites, that things can be done. I ended up going on Prozac and though it worked for a while, it didn't take long for it all to come back. I was a little disappointed and considered upping the dosage, but then I decided not to, to brace the pain and get on with it. Every moment I spend enjoying myself (either because I have no pain or because I'm simply having too much fun to care) is a blessing and I'm so much more happy because of it. I'm still in pain most of the time, including right now, but it doesn't seem to be enough to get me down.
I do however have to counter and say that I know many others where it is just the hope that gets them through the day and the tiny bits of hope that keep them going, moment to moment, however small they are. I always promote this hope with them, whilst internally removing this hope for myself. I guess I'm more interested in the hope that I can still enjoy life despite the pain, whereas others find more comfort in the hope that the pain will go and then they can enjoy life even more after that.
Whatever you choose, I hope it brings you comfort and I think the main thing is to not to give up on being able to live life, one way or another.
This enemy we face is not black and white. There are so many hypotheticals. What works for some, doesn’t always work for others.
I try to keep a positive attitude, but even with my best intentions sometimes I do get pessimistic. Hope allows us something medical science cannot. Sure, no one wants to set themselves up for failure, but how do we know - unless we continue to try, try, try!
I keep perspective from my gratitude journal- some days it’s what gets me through.
Since the surgery failed, what is the next plan of action? Or are your doctors says they won’t do anything, at all, for another year?
Keeping you in my prayers!
I like what you said Will..
To be hopeful or be realistic? I then realised it is realistic to he hopeful.
Thanks, elstep, lines had gotten pretty blurred for me this morning and I appreciate that you shared this. Really helped me "reign" it back in. Without question, I manage to remain more positive and more hopeful since I "met" some of the awesome people here.
elstep said:
To be hopeful or be realistic? I then realised it is realistic to he hopeful.
I really like what Elstep says. That sure does sum it up.