I had a horrible day yesterday I have been in awful pain with the neurotin not really helping and percocet just barely dulling the pain...I take topamax for migraines and ran out on Fri my PC dr has been out of town and I have an appt to see him today I ran out of percocet yesterday morning...My husband called my neurologist to see if he would give me something for pain he called in a prescription but never called us back my husband picked it up brought it home and it was tegretol umm he prescribed tegretol and I had a horrible reaction to it he never even bothered to look at my chart and see that. My husband called back and was assured that something would be called in he called backed 3 X never got anything called in by 11 pm my migraine was so bad I couldn't see and I wanted to be a zombie and tear my cheek off and then pull my upper teeth out so ended up in the er they were great and super nice gave me a huge shot of dilaulaid and a prescription for percocet Anyway I had all kinds of things I was supposed to get done today including voluntering in my son's class and lunch with a friend I had to let all those people down and kept my husband out until 3 in the morning when he had to work today the guilt is eating me alive I am starting to feel like a waste of space and a huge loser How does everyones else cope with this? (sorry this is so long and thank you if you got through the entire thing)
You are NOT a looser!! You are a fighter!! Everyday is a rollercoaster and we have somehow gotten on. Try to relax in knowing that tomorrow you will be on the uphill side!! Bad days have a way of quickly making us forget all the good days that we have had. Even if other people don’t understand. We know how far we can push ourselves. Don’t be so hard on yourself!! Anybody that fights TN or migraines is a winner!! I read something just this morning and I will share it with you.
Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and by the courage with which you have maintained against overwhelming odds!! …Orison Swett
((HUGS))
Don't ever forget. You are not a loser, no way. Losers don't know they are! You are just a sick woman asking for and gaining help from your life partner who promised to do just that when you married. I have had to lean on my husband so much over the last nine years I have had serious health problems. I don't much enjoy doing this as I am a very independent type who hates asking for help. However it has been given freely and with love as that is what a marriage is. The sharing of what life has to throw at us! I hope you still feel the relief from your ER visit. Good to read of a positive experience about an ER visit.
I echo the rest and will say I understand, we all understand.
We don’t have a choice when dealing with the excruciating pain.
I deal the same as you, I feel terrible about having to miss out or cancel on things, but it’s just the way it is.
I try and remind myself that better days are ahead and feel very triumphant when I CAN volunteer or not cancel on things. It’s not easy. But we must try our best one moment at a time…and lean on each other for support.
(((( hugs to you )))) hope you’re feeling better soon.
Mimi
Pain makes us feel "not" like our selves...you are as strong as you always were; but it is hard to kick against the pain! It whoops us - HARD! Your allies are the ones around you, the ones on this website and your own GRIT. Family understands that this is not you and love you no matter what - you have to depend on the fact that you will have better days; hard to see right now, but I am praying it comes sooner than later! Take care of YOU; take it one day at a time! ((hugs)) get better very soon, kiddo!
Cris
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
I hope reading this link will help you feel better -- we have to pick and choose which days we can accomplish what
And then there is always the way we have to make plan A, B and Z !!!
Thanks guys for the kind words and for understanding.....I saw my pc dr today and he along with myself have decided that the best thing to do at this point is to refer me to pain management I am hoping that this will mean no more nights in the er unfortunately it probably won't take care of my guilt of having to cancel things at the last minute or having my husband have to take on way more than he should have to but I know that eventually slowly I am going to get my life back and that when I do I will for sure take advantage of the days that I do have that are pain free :) Again thanks for making me feel better with your uplifting words
Bless your heart for being such a diligent trooper! We ARE strong warriors in this fight against pain. I’m glad that your husband is SO there for you. I’m sure you’d do the same for him if the table was turned going to Pain Management (as opposed to Neurology) has been such a relief. I was asked by my physician to get the book, “Managing pain before it manages you.” This book, along with excellent care, has helped me establish a good life…despite pain. The biggest help has been botox injections for migraines. It helps the tn pain and migraine frequentcy. Keep in mind that I am 10 years from the onset of this pain, and have had 2 failed gamma knife surgeries and a MVD at Johns Hopkins that fixed the tn, but did not fix the damage from the gamma knife surgeries. Scheduling life now is much different than prior to tn, but I’m stubborn about reaching my goals regardless of pain…these days it might take me a bit longer to accomplish things, but I DO get things done. It’s a new day, with new mercies and good times ahead. I will be praying for you! Please msg me if you’d like to talk privately.
Take care,
Lynda