I know all of you TNers understand just how convoluted the disease is. The journey is never an easy or straight path. Some days are 'Hey, maybe I don’t actually have TN" to not wearing a bra, not showering and hunkering
on the couch with the desperate awareness that I do indeed have TN and I hate it.
Presently my neuros are suspects a few different things. One is them is that the blood clot in my brain has moved or another one has developed. The other school of thought is that I also have a seizure disorder. How the heck do you have a seizure disorder while you are already on anti-convulsants? They base these thoughts on a variety of incidents from the past 2 months.
So now I wait for another MRI and an EEG. I am not a great waiter, well actually I was a pretty darn good waitress back in my day but that’s another story, so the time from now till mid December seems to be taking forever. Everything seems to take too long with TN. Diagnosis, medications becoming effective, surgical consultants and even weather systems passing all take too long. But such is the journey.
Till then I question every little twinge and quiver. One thing I have learned with having TN for over 3.5 years is patience. Things never stay how they were be it med dosages, triggers, symptoms or even my responses to those. I just need to be present in the moment and aware that this too shall pass even if only for a moment.
To those of you just starting out on the path of TN, I would encourage you to remember that patience is needed. TN is not a sprint but rather a marathon. You just keep on keeping on going no matter how tired you are. But like a marathon, you are not in this alone. Some are further back and others are further ahead but each one in the race understands.
No matter how the plot thickens or what is behind the next corner I expect to see you keeping on keeping on.