I've been very blessed to be free of any major flare-ups for several years through good medication management up until Thursday. It was so windy outside and as I left the health club after my workout I thought someone hit me in the side of the head with a sledge hammer. I never saw it coming. I screamed in the parking lot and clutched my face, wrapped my coat over my head and stumbled to the protection of my truck.
I felt the left side of my face start to tingle and swell a bit, I was terrified....but the pain, there was so much PAIN! OMG, I forgot how much this hurt!! I took for granted how pain-free I was and how well the medication was helping me. I still had (have) daily teeth sensitivity that rules over everything I eat or drink, but that is nothing compared to what I am going through this very minute.
I forgot how painful it is to blow your nose in the winter, or brush your hair, or put your make-up on. I feel stupid to think that I could lead a 'normal" life....after all, I hadn't had a flare-up in years..YEARS! God, I was so stupid......now the TN is back and it's whacked me on the back of the head as a reminder that it's here and living well inside my face and that I am never, ever to forget it. Ever.
Yesterday was the first time I went to work and showed co-workers and my boss,what I look like when I have a flare-up. I was embarrassed when I cringed in pain in front of them. But I had already had "the talk" with my boss about TN and what it was, so when I told him I was in a flare-up he was very compassionate and wondered what I was doing at work (bless his heart). I am fortunate enough to work in an office right now where I don't have to see alot of people or talk to many people so I was able to get my work done at my own pace and stop when I needed to, which is why I went in. If I needed to leave cause I was in pain, I knew that it would be ok. Having people see me in a flare-up was a big step for me, but I work in a small office and they are like extended family and I can't hide forever - though I wish I could in times like these.
Right now, I'm scared because I don't remember what to do in a flare-up. Do I use ice or heat....the meds I'm on cause memory loss and my neuro is not available this weekend. He's a good dr but his bedside manner kinda stinks....I would never think of leaving him though. After all, he's the reason I've been flare-up free for so many years. He's the one that found the medication combination that worked for me when my other neuro gave up.
I don't know what to do.....I can't remember.....I'm scared and it hurts so much.....