I should have written this days/weeks ago.
My first appointment with a new neurologist is tomorrow. That should be great news, but these days I find specialist appointments extremely overwhelming.
After 3 years of this not yet diagnosed facial pain, I have the chance to perhaps get some definitive answers. Life dosed up to the eyeballs on Gabapentin, Tegretol & others is no way to live.
Yet that is the problem: whenever I get to tell someone about the hellish circumstances of these years, I go to pieces. I find it completely overwhelming to try to put into words my current quality of life.
To add to my anxiety is the memory of the 1st specialist I saw - an ENT - who got quite grumpy when I struggled to describe the situation. I didn’t make much of an impression on an earlier neurologist either.
I’ve tried writing a script (I think it is the Meds that have wrecked my recall and verbal abilities) to no avail. I end up with an essay.
I can’t tell what is important or not.
It feels like my future rises in this. I am terrified.
Can anyone offer any wisdom here?