My TN and ON have been with me for 11 years. During that period, I took more and more strong opiates, strong anti-convulsives and strong doses of muscle relaxers, but for the last four or five years, I refused to let the neuralgias define me. It is a black hole and often occurs to most people with TN and/or ON pain or other people in chronic pain.
We also need to try to take away the focus on pain. It sounds impossible but we can only focus on one major task at a time. "Red", in the ATypical sections and others may have some thoughts on the matter. Chronic Pain is unimaginable to those who do not suffer as we do. Our level 6 is their 20. It upsets others because they don't know how to approach us for invitations and over time they unknowingly move further and further away from us. I understand how difficult it must be for others and our friends. I don't think it is mean spirited but just happens. I am tired of being out of the circle and I have to go "outside the box" to change, as much as I can, to reverse my station in life. I want to move forward and I know to accomplish this I have to reverse my habits before I can expect my friends and others to perceive me in a different way. Said another way, my TN and ON will no longer define me.
I have removed the phase, I never will be able to, from my thoughts. The phase, one day I will, is used instead. Weather fronts greatly increase my pain so my wife gave me a weather station. I love working in my little courtyards but I cannot handle the weight of large plants and fragrance plants give me instant migraines. Now I grow my own plants from seed. It is so satisfying to view my plants that no one else has and I also control the fragrances. I am a bbq nut and a certified bbq judge. I had to give my custom made pit away but I replaced it with another bbq pit that did not require constant monitoring every thirty minutes for ten to twelve hours. I purchased a nice grill to use so now I have gone back to a real bbq pit and a grill. Sometimes the challenge to subsitute is more meaningful than the things and acts we did in the past. My triple A personality was and is the most difficult to satisfy. For that, for the last eleven years, I have be creating a phantom business. It is at a stage where someone can possibly make it happen. There is one muscle that requires constant exercise and with our pain will seldom make us of it in challenging ways. The phantom company was my way to insure this muscle was used positively. The muscle is called the brain and it is truely a muscle.
The point is we need, and it is so hard, to change the negatives in our lives and challenge ourselves to create positive changes. We know the problems with the pain, maybe it's time to attack them. When you begin making your New Year's resolutions, you might consider these actions at the top of the lists. Maybe it should be the only thing on the lists. I seem to have the same lists every year so why not use this resolution and skip the others? I break most of the resolutions New Years Day and always break all of the resolutions before the end of the month.
Make it a point to enjoy the Holidays and get a jump on your New Years resolution. Tommy R.
If you wish to contact me I am on Stef's ATypical TN Site.