On a more positive note, Ben is absolutely correct about the spirit and keeping motivated. It is very hard to stay on top when you feel four feet under. The important thing to remember is that you may have a rare thing, but you do not have to let it have you. You are in the control tower of your own body. So, find something that makes you smile and go with it.
Easier said then done, I agree. However, having said that I am going to tell you that I too will work very hard this spring to find happiness in getting the pond up and thriving again. I will get the landscaping spruced up to the best of my ability and in the spirit of my late husband I will find renewed pleasure in the home we shared. This will require lots of work and with GPN that will be difficult, but I did it before the surgery, before I even knew what I had wrong with me so for sure I can do it now.
It is my prayer that all of you who suffer anything, will find your peace, offer up your suffering.