Thank you lois… keep up the good fight
It's seeing other people "doing it" that works for me. I'm in the same boat as you. Being athiest actually helps me because it makes me think that there's no point in dying so I might as well just hang on -- can't get any worse then this, right? I live for the good moments when I realize my face isn't hurting for once. It's so exhilarating when I don't feel pain. It's the only positive in my life so I cling to it and it helps. Be strong!