Hi everyone....I hope you are all ok....My marriage could not survive the TN1 and 2 and AD and my husband finally gave up the ghost and moved away...He is now living with another women....I do not blame him ...I am not the person he met all those years ago....Its hard to swallow....but I understand...This disease makes you a very lonely person....very introvert...You just want to be left alone....I hope all you who were on this group 3 years ago...Elstep...Min...all of you are all managing as best you can....much love n hugs Carol xx
Very sorry to hear this. I remember reading your story about cutting the nerve way back. This disease is very trying no we all are not the same people we used to be.
I am so sorry. I agree, it dies change us.
Hi Carol, I am doing pretty good. I was just thinking about you lately, and wondering how you were doing.
I am sorry to hear about your husband & you. I know it has been a real struggle, I am sure…mine is hanging in there, but we’ve had some rocky roads…It sure is not easy with what TN puts us thru…
I hope you are doing okay with the meds you have…sure is good to hear from you again. 
Min
Are you grieving the relationship, anger boiling over at the TN. Acceptance?
Do you have friends or family that can hold your hand hon?
Kimberly
Hi Carol, good to hear from you, I have often thought of you and wondered how you were managing pain wise…
I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage. What a difficult thing to go through on top of the pain and everything else. The dissolution of a marriage has many facets, and I sincerely hope you do not carry guilt or blame. It’s much more complicated than that…
The universe works in mysterious ways, and I hope with time you meet someone loving, supportive and understanding to share your life with.
You deserve it my friend.
I’m still struggling, one foot in front of the other. Recently tried Botox for the pain and am hoping with time to see positive results. All we can do is Hope.
Sending you (( hugs )) and positive thoughts, hope you visit more often…
Mimi xx
This disease is so hard on a marriage. One almost begins to live an apologetic life and that’s not healthy for anyone. The isolation is a constant battle But what if it happened to him. Ask yourself that question? It’s a fair one. So many questions and no friggin answers for us. Take this drug, stop that one. In and out of hospitals. We should all meet some warm place and whoop it up! Throw our scripts in a bag and throw caution to the wind. Sit on a beach, in a tent to cut the wind, (don’t laugh),and exchange stories and laugh. Swim in the ocean at night to keep our faces out of the sun. Feel like people. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know you are too. You have been handed such a raw deal, really. Big challenges. You’ve got to be an incredibly strong woman to be standing there on your own. Don’t forget that. A true firewalkwalker. My thoughts of light and easiness of mind are with you.
Carol, anytime you want to talk i am here for you, pm me at anytime or chat on here as I know you are such a open person. Your such a honest beautiful funny lady. OK I know your not exactly the same person you where when you first met him but you are still Carol and those qualities will still be there although I accept in smaller quantities. Your husband is the loser in all of this Carol. Much Love Elstep xxx
So sorry to hear your news, I do agree with what you say, your not the person he met and married all those years ago, but he’s not the same person either…
You sound like a very strong lady, and you obviously have lots of friends who care for you on this site, hopefully that will help you in the months to come…
I’d like to hear how you get on, and I’ll be thinking of you, along with many others, so keep in touch, there’s always a kind word on this site (as you know) sending love from an ex pat (South Wales) now in Adelaide, Australia
good morning Carol; nice to hear from you. i am so sorry that your partner was not strong enough to survive the changes tn brought to your relationship. this gig is not for sissies; it’s tough stuff.
i hope you have support to deal with this loss as well as the continued tn pain. i wish your heart and head many pain free days ahead.
Carol Harmer said:
Saving…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...*Iv written a reply twice now and lost it....I cant do it a 3rd time today..but will have a look and see where I went wrong 2mrw xxxxx.....loads of love n hugs xxxx
Hi Carol be tough rise to the top so sorry to hear about what you are having to go though.
I agree with elstep!! your husband is a loser!!! thats one of the reasons i gave up on ever trying to find a relationship. i wouldnt want to wish any husband having to go thru this pain with me. So i just gave up trying to find love. I am 63 now so i figured i will just wait till the next time around LOL
Hi all.....
yes it has been a painful time....and to top it all Iv had a mini stroke, which means I am always falling over....Is it the drugs that is slowly killing me or the stress of it all...I dont know...I wonder sometimes....I know the universe is a funny old place...but I feel Iv had enough now...and something positive to come out of all this....It is a tough road we all take....and one that I would not wish on my worst enemy......but we are where we are...no new drugs to save us from this monster....I am still working....I had a partner who I thought would love me forever...sadly....he couldnt take it either and disapeared...into the mist...so I really felt let down...especially as we had known each other for 30 years...It just goes to show really...If people can walk away from you.....you have to let them go....nothing else for it......and hope they can live with themselves after causing so much carnage.....I couldnt.....its not in my nature......I really hope you are all ok on here...I live day to day now...still working...still struggling....getting more drained by each year that passes....especially now as I fall over a lot and hurt myself.....You do wonder....is this all worth it.....what else is going to go wrong....how much more can life shove at me before I lose the plot.....But I am a fighter...and I guess thats what I will always do,,,,much love to you all.....xxxx
Carol you are a fghter and a survivor. I know your missing him but your coping. A mini stroke on top of TN and AD how unfair is that. We are your friends and are here anytime you need us xxxxx
well now been told it may not have been a mini stroke...but on onset of MS... So doing more tests....This will mire than likely mean that I have to leave my home in Spain and return to the UK...sooner rather than later....I seriously do not know how much more I can take.....This past 18 months have been a rollercoaster....lost my best friend...my grandaughter....another close friend....My marriage broke up...my partner left me with 15 mins notice..Only went out to pay the elec bill...Known him 30 years....we were inseperable...we both dragged each other through a terrible time....a really awful time...and when he left me like that I went into meldown...I mean total meltdown...didnt eat for 6 week....my weight plunged to 8 stone.....I have a gastric band so eating is always a problem for me...but I didnt eat...just felt sick...was put on Xanex and other drugs...dont really remember much about that 6 weeks to be fair.....and its been a bitter battle because this man was my best friends brother...so its fractured my realtationship with all the family...He hasnt and wont speak to me...so I have no idea why he has done this to me after knowing my character...and knowing how fragile I was after all these close people dying around me.....and the TN came back with a vengance...anyway seems my body is now failing...wether its the drugs used for TN...stress......god knows what....but I cant seem to see a way back from this.....I really cant...Iv always been so positive...and now Im at the end....Iv got drop foot....which means I struggle to walk without falling over.....Iv never been a bad person......and I dont know why my life has been destroyed like this....is there any point in it all eh !"! xx
He won't speak or explain cos of his guilt of how he's treated you. He has to live with that. Many people on here have been diax with MS as TN can be a symptom of MS and they cope and live happy lives and you can too Carol. Glad to hear you are still able to continue your career and I bet your looking fab with your weight loss! Much Love Elaine. Xx
Im not sure I can continue with my career tho Elstep......Im just too worn out to actually care anymore...Yes I beleive it was guilt...and the fat that he obviously had never loved me at all....Dosnt help me tho...I am broken.....mentally and now physically....I think I put up a good fight though over the past few years with TN type 1 and 2...AD.....and now this !!!!...With TN and AD you can still look normal....and when I went out I could still wear my high heels and dance.....This sadly has been taken away...I will never be able to do that again..and that is breaking me further.....Looking fab...as everyone says....isnt now an option.....Because I lost so much weight and the last 1 1/2 stone in 6 weeks I am reduced now to this bumbling idiot who keeps falling over...cant ever have a drink and a laugh with friends....and really wishes at this point it life that it would open up and swallow me.....much love right back at you xxx
I'm sure he did love you Carol and still does but he chose not to cope and did a runner and his guilt must be immense. You have fought with all your conditions and you will continue to do so because that's who you are. Your Carol the fighter with the wicked sense of humour so entertaining and descriptive with the written word! Wait till you had your diax before making any big decisions and let's see what the docs can offer you. I'm here near Ashford in UK if you ever need me. X