Elster…if I return to the UK I will be based in maidstone …how close we would be…all tests came back clear…so now we know it’s a trapped nerve somewhere…no idea where so more tests are likely…I am going to the local hospital 2mrw…no idea how this is going to pan out…still feeling really really low…every day now seems a struggle…trying to cope the best I can…but it’s looking less likely now that I will be able to stay…and I am coming to terms with that…I think all of us are really brave battling on like we do…I wish people who didn’t have this could spend just one day in our shoes…maybe then they would understand just how we feel…oh well,guess that will never happen…so we suffer in silence…love n hugs xxxx
Sadly it is MS.....Apparently many people with TN get diagnosed this....I am at a, loss...I have no idea how to handle it...except now I cant raise my left foot...so I am always falling over....You know just when yo think things cannot get any worse !!!!
Oh Carol do not blame yourself. Marriages go bad for all kinds of reasons. You will find someone who really cares and supports you. I was divorced a yr or so ago. But loosing my dogs to death hurt me so much more than the divorce. I have always been a loner. And we were about as different as 2 can be. Keep your chin up. We are here for u.
Hi Carol, Well don't get to down you can always call on Jehovah for the help to get through. I won't bother to tell you what I had but it was pretty bad to get through. I guess that Satin wants you to fall but don't let him win. You really sound like a very sweet lady and pretty strong so it does get better I tell you for sure it does. LOVE to you and please call on me and I will help all I can and I really mean that. XXOOX
Carol Harmer said:
Sadly it is MS.....Apparently many people with TN get diagnosed this....I am at a, loss...I have no idea how to handle it...except now I cant raise my left foot...so I am always falling over....You know just when yo think things cannot get any worse !!!!
Carol what do I say? You WILL brave this out. You have a diagnosis and you will receive the help you need to manage this condition. I am feeling for you so much as life can be so unfair but you are strong and you will survive this. Many on this site have both MS and TN, please anyone who also has MS talk to Carol and let her know she's not alone.
Much Love Elstep xxxx
I hope they do Elstep because to have both is just dire…and really hard to get my head round…as for wheels4legs as I am now a convinced atheist I neither believe in jehover or satan, so sadly that doesn’t help me at all…I believe in ME only…and only I can drag myself through this…
Carol were all here for you. Keep Strong, when is your next appointment and have they suggested practical help with your foot? xxxx
Carol, You are not alone dragging yourself. At the very least, you have this community of people who understand how frightening these dx’s are, how alone they make a person feel, and how defeated a person can become.
When I was at my darkest moments in my TN journey, I started a gratitude journal. I began to write down the blessings in my life— even if they were small. I remember feeling so down one day and struggling where I wanted to just die. I saw a flower growing in the crack of a sidewalk. And I stopped and realized that flower was me. It should have been impossible to grow there – and why that place? How did the seed land there and the flower flourish there? It no longer mattered to me the logical how’s or why’s. There was beauty in that crack amongst the ugly, hard, barren surroundings. That flower was brave for flourishing despite it’s circumstances. I wrote all of that and marveled at creation.
On my tough days following finding that flower, I took out my journal (I also had a picture of it) and I would read that passage. I became so grateful for that moment.
Find some joy in the insignifcant. And hang in there.
Hi Carol, Well thats okay at least you believe in something. I hope I didn't offend you by suggesting to ask Jehovah for help. If I did forgive me but I really didn't do it to upset you. I have to admit though I am not sorry I did suggest it. We really can't lean on our own understanding but if it flouts your boat you go girl. Best of luck and hang tough.
Carol Harmer said:
I hope they do Elstep because to have both is just dire...and really hard to get my head round....as for wheels4legs as I am now a convinced atheist I neither believe in jehover or satan, so sadly that doesn't help me at all....I believe in ME only.....and only I can drag myself through this....
I tired and I am also of course in a wheelchair. But it is a power wheel chair (thats just so people can't push me around, hee hee [a joke]). God and love can concur all things and I really hope Carol wins this I know she can but it's hard to do it alone.
elstep said:
Carol what do I say? You WILL brave this out. You have a diagnosis and you will receive the help you need to manage this condition. I am feeling for you so much as life can be so unfair but you are strong and you will survive this. Many on this site have both MS and TN, please anyone who also has MS talk to Carol and let her know she's not alone.
Much Love Elstep xxxx
Well sadly to my cost I have realised that people are not what they seem to be....The power of prayer went unanswered and more bad news followed....I have lost 4 people in 8 months to Cancer....one of them my beautiful grandaughter another a best friend since childhood...This is why I do not believe.....in anything ...anymore....I wore myself out last year flying back and forth to the UK to try and help out as best I could....didnt matter....they died anyways.....My husband left...and so did my new partner who just happened to be my best friends brother...who I have known for over 30 years....did I say that...did I say I knew him....I obviously didnt know him at all....as he was gone from my life in less than 24 hrs...after the previous day lookign at moving house and going on holiday....and not a word since...and its been 3 months....Soooo....my faith in the human race has somewhat been shattered.....and you know...anyone who knows me on here knows exactly what a fighter I am....I NEVER give up....but this MS.....well....you can imagine cant you....and the Dr at the hospital said it was proberly bought on by the surgeon severing my nerves 3 years ago...So now what...I have TN 1 and 2....AD and now MS....how the hell can you fight that....how can I fight a degenerative nerve disease thats going to leave me in a wheelchair...Thats my business gone...thats my home in Spain gone....thats my life....gone....now wether in Spain they tell you horror stories to scare you.....I dont know...but listening to these 4 Drs at the hospital telling me my prognosis ...well it was like living in a dream.....it wasnt me they were talking to ...it was someone else....it could not be me...not after the year Iv had....more drugs...more treatment....why...to prolong the disease...and for how long....apparently it takes upto 10 ears off your life....deep joy !!!!.....I do not feel sorry for myself....I am angry...angry that I have battled TN 1and 2 for 7 years...angry that I had that nerve cutting operation that left me with AD...angry my best friend has died....angry about my grandaughter..and 2 other close friends...Angry at my husband for deserting me...angry at my partner promising me the world...only to turn out to be the biggest lying rat Iv ever had the misfortune to come across.....but still I coped....still I battled....but no...that wasnt enough .....lets give her MS to really skrew up any further chance of life..happiness she has....its laughable really.....like some bad movie you are sitting back and watching.....like its happening to someone else.....but its not....its happening to you...and when you wake up in the middle of the night....alone....scared....in a foreign country....its scary stuff.....and although I am trying to be positive....I am failing dismally.....love and hugs to you all xxxx
Carol I never knew that severing the nerve could cause MS? That surgeon as does the people who have loved and left have such a lot to answer for. So sorry to hear that your Grandaughter lost her life, let us all hope that Wheels is correct and there is a heaven for us to go to after our time here is over.
I know the future is scary but so often the future is not as bleak as it seems and I know its easy for me to say but sometimes out of the darkest of times can come out something unexpected and good. I do hope so my friend and you deserve it. xxx
Carol, Remember to be kind to yourself. If it were anybody else going through all this you would be kind to them, and patient and understanding. So give yourself a break...it's going to take some time to get through this. You may have to walk slow for awhile,and maybe have some physical therapy... but you will get used to it, and things can change, evolve. So take heart, all is not lost. Take deep breaths, it's going to be okay. You will get through this. Hang in there. xoxoo,Min
Thanks you 2....I will take a step back...and breathe !!!.....see how the week progresses.....love n hugs to you xxxx
Hi Carol, Sooooo your prays failed you??? I can see why: You told me that your an atheists and didn't believe in anything but your self. Now maybe you can see that we can not believe in ourselves. You do seem to be having a lot of problems. There are a lot of things out there that will cause them too. Look around and see or remember some of the good things that happened for you. Still hang on and try not to just quit. You don't seem to be a coward and to quit is just that; my brother took that way so I know what I'm saying is no joke. So I guess that way it goes is "buck up don't fu#$ up." He told me in the hosp" after I came too after having the machine dropped on me that put me in this chair; "quit your bit$$%%en you have to just grab hold of what you can and make the best of it." Then he quit go figuer huh! Anyway hang in there. Still love ya
WHeels4legs said it.
Carol Harmer said:
Well sadly to my cost I have realised that people are not what they seem to be....The power of prayer went unanswered and more bad news followed....I have lost 4 people in 8 months to Cancer....one of them my beautiful grandaughter another a best friend since childhood...This is why I do not believe.....in anything ...anymore....I wore myself out last year flying back and forth to the UK to try and help out as best I could....didnt matter....they died anyways.....My husband left...and so did my new partner who just happened to be my best friends brother...who I have known for over 30 years....did I say that...did I say I knew him....I obviously didnt know him at all....as he was gone from my life in less than 24 hrs...after the previous day lookign at moving house and going on holiday....and not a word since...and its been 3 months....Soooo....my faith in the human race has somewhat been shattered.....and you know...anyone who knows me on here knows exactly what a fighter I am....I NEVER give up....but this MS.....well....you can imagine cant you....and the Dr at the hospital said it was proberly bought on by the surgeon severing my nerves 3 years ago...So now what...I have TN 1 and 2....AD and now MS....how the hell can you fight that....how can I fight a degenerative nerve disease thats going to leave me in a wheelchair...Thats my business gone...thats my home in Spain gone....thats my life....gone....now wether in Spain they tell you horror stories to scare you.....I dont know...but listening to these 4 Drs at the hospital telling me my prognosis ...well it was like living in a dream.....it wasnt me they were talking to ...it was someone else....it could not be me...not after the year Iv had....more drugs...more treatment....why...to prolong the disease...and for how long....apparently it takes upto 10 ears off your life....deep joy !!!!.....I do not feel sorry for myself....I am angry...angry that I have battled TN 1and 2 for 7 years...angry that I had that nerve cutting operation that left me with AD...angry my best friend has died....angry about my grandaughter..and 2 other close friends...Angry at my husband for deserting me...angry at my partner promising me the world...only to turn out to be the biggest lying rat Iv ever had the misfortune to come across.....but still I coped....still I battled....but no...that wasnt enough .....lets give her MS to really skrew up any further chance of life..happiness she has....its laughable really.....like some bad movie you are sitting back and watching.....like its happening to someone else.....but its not....its happening to you...and when you wake up in the middle of the night....alone....scared....in a foreign country....its scary stuff.....and although I am trying to be positive....I am failing dismally.....love and hugs to you all xxxx