I think I should be banned from this site. I get so angry when I read about the pain people suffer just like I do... I can't believe we live in such an advanced world, that we now have super bullets that are guided but you still can't find any vitamins smaller than a horse pill and you still can't get enough pain relief! I have been better. Targin ended up being the worst decision I ever made. All it did was make me go loopy, i was up all night, and still didn't really curb the constants burning pains... Endone now does nothing. My pain management professor (Monash Medical Centre, Melbourne, Victoria) is again going to hospitalise me and try the ketamine desenticisation again but in higher doses... I am going to now start on Methadone next week as the 'stresses' in my life aren't going away anytime soon... Since quitting work.. I have gone from a great income to almost scraping through... Uni is pi$$ing me off too. all I have learnt in the last 3 months is that I DONT like to study philosophy, it does my head in! (Probably induced also by the 2100mg of Gabapentin I take a day and the 200mg Endep at night, with normally a cocktail of valiums and oxy's)... How can I see the logic of these pioneer writers when I can't remember if I had taken medication 10 minutes after the fact!!!!! I hope they can get me into hospital fast as I am going to start back of the good old days and start smoking pot again... I just started smoking cigarettes to help me calm and stop the hands from shaking!!!! GRRRR... thats my 10 cents worth for today! Goodnight all x