DOES MUSIC HELP FOR YOU? how about rocking back and forth and hummmming....does anyone else do this?
Hey Melinda,
In all honesty I think music makes mine worse, although mine's atypical so it technically shouldn't have any triggers such as music. One of my thoughts on it was that as I am listening to music (in my ear obv) and when I wear headphones I can feel them on my ear as well, I'm more apparent of the pain and thus it hurts more. I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't help make it hurt less.
As contradictory as this will sound, however, it helps a lot because when I listen to music I just imagine myself elsewhere, in memories and fantasies, like when I was with my friends seeing this and that DJ etc. It calms me down and though the pain gets more intense, I don't mind. I've always found that music relaxes me, different types, and it does so as well with my TN.
Hope you're all right! x
Hi Will. Thanks for answering with such detail. Ive been having conflicting issues with regard to noise and it has been creating some relationship problems. The question is whether it is a behavioral issue or a physical one. Music at a constant volume level, no matter how loud, drowns out the sounds of silence which feel very real to me. Silence hurts. Music doesn't. The problem is that loud conversation, television, the phone ringing, the bathroom fan, and ANY spike in noise level makes me snap in a rude and urgent manner, which is being confused as a temper tantrum, believe it or not. It causes stabbing and jolting pain only through my right ear...but it is immediate pain that can't stop fast enough. Any noise after that piercing jolt causing me to get angry and demand silence. That is not indicative of my personality at all, but Ive seen the monster come out, even when someone whispers in my ear. That im not tollerant of television and loud talking, but stand by consistant music has me failing in the companionship polls....So Will...can I add one more thing while you are listening so well? Ive unconsciously been rocking lately too - like a rocking chair on the floor - add a hummmmm to that. What do you think Just curious...thanks for your honesty.
Will Newton said:
Hey Melinda,
In all honesty I think music makes mine worse, although mine's atypical so it technically shouldn't have any triggers such as music. One of my thoughts on it was that as I am listening to music (in my ear obv) and when I wear headphones I can feel them on my ear as well, I'm more apparent of the pain and thus it hurts more. I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't help make it hurt less.
As contradictory as this will sound, however, it helps a lot because when I listen to music I just imagine myself elsewhere, in memories and fantasies, like when I was with my friends seeing this and that DJ etc. It calms me down and though the pain gets more intense, I don't mind. I've always found that music relaxes me, different types, and it does so as well with my TN.
Hope you're all right! x
I found that noise/music makes the pain worse but I did tend to rock myself to help deal with the pain.
Will Newton said:
Hey Melinda,
In all honesty I think music makes mine worse, although mine's atypical so it technically shouldn't have any triggers such as music. One of my thoughts on it was that as I am listening to music (in my ear obv) and when I wear headphones I can feel them on my ear as well, I'm more apparent of the pain and thus it hurts more. I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't help make it hurt less.
As contradictory as this will sound, however, it helps a lot because when I listen to music I just imagine myself elsewhere, in memories and fantasies, like when I was with my friends seeing this and that DJ etc. It calms me down and though the pain gets more intense, I don't mind. I've always found that music relaxes me, different types, and it does so as well with my TN.
Hope you're all right! x
Hi Collette...thank you for replying. I think it may be somewhat normal to rock back and forth, since that is how we were probably nurtured as a baby, but I am doing it alot lately. The humming varies in tone, pitch and volume...kind of like someone plugging their ears saying "I can't hear you, I can't hear you!". I think it is my instinctive way to stamp out the pain. At first I didn't realize I was doing it because I was so overtired and I didnt want to go to sleep. I was fighting the pain and I was fighting sleep for some reason. I usually feel better when I do sleep, but when I wake up I am ok for a only a few minutes before it hits again. It seems harder and causes me horrible grief, because that window of a few minutes used to include phone calls to everyone saying "I feel a little better...I'll be there" followed by a wall of pain and me not showing up, again. Repeat the process a few times and you can see the problem. Sometimes, when Im by myself I will hear someone moaning or humming and it takes a minute before I can process that it is ME! That often happens when Ive forgotten to take my medicine. By the way, my music includes playlists have tags based on MOOD or SITUATION too. So my "SLEEPYTIME MUSIC LIST" is appropriate and actually helps me wind down a bit now. My mornings are best when I warm up to getting up with my "WORSHIP MUSIC LIST" being the first thing on when I open (or try to open) my eyes. I played the guitar for many many years and turned to that for everything when I was growing up. When I had the nerve block, one thing that did improve was my ability to command my fingers...so Im teaching myself to play again. Maybe the music helping me is because that has always been my "go to" when I was happy, sad, mad or confused. I ALSO LISTEN REGULARY TO POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT CDS and guided therapy cds that I strongly believe in. Im trying to reprogram myself in a positive way....anything to escape this pain and get back to my life! I have to hurry because my kids are growing up and they don't need me anymore! My middle child is all of a sudden a beautiful girl graduating from High School in less than two months, my oldest son is known for his amazing music talent and BEARD, and my youngest son has a bevy of teenage girls vying for his precious time and attention. Hopefully my mom will be around to change her mind about the strong and successful little girl she raised really well...I was doing it! Share your thoughts with me if you can. Im trying my hardest to be true to myself but everything is so questionable lately. Maybe post tramatic stress has kicked in...The people who used to believe in me have all given up. That cliche we all know -"IVE FALLEN AND I CANT GET UP!" has been capped with "YOU CAN ONLY KICK A DEAD HORSE FOR SO LONG"... Im not dead, but Im still out of the race and it is HORRIBLE to be stuck having to watch my life play on around me like a ("dead horse" works in this scenario). While Im at it, and it kind of makes sense, I will add...to add insult to injury I CAN HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME LIKE I AM DEAD - and no matter how hard anyone tries to not be hurtful, that is what is killing me. Hearing "Its such a shame, I don't know what happened to her" "She was such a smart, beautiful, happy, friendly, sunshiney girl" or just "Her poor kids" is not considered nice in my book. And Ive thrown the book at a few key people in my life but they read a page of it and don't get the TN part of it, come to their own conclusion, walk on and return only to repeat the process. Dangit...This discussion has morphed into a rant. Im sorry. I'm a dancing, singing happy horse....that's what I wanted to say. Silly.
Hey Melinda,
One thing I always tell people, no matter what the problem is, however large or small, is "rant away". It's a release, whatever you're talking about, however superficial so do it! Enjoy the fact that there are people listening, taking the time to read it, no matter what you say, and let it out!
I think you're a really resilient person, you make me proud that there're actually people out there that are so strong, no matter how many people know it. Always remember this, no matter what people say. I'm not a particularly open guy and I've only posted on this site a few times, but the title, your honesty and people's general oppenness and need for just some chatting has found me checking this site 10 times a day, wanting to comment to everything and reading what people say countless amounts of times. It's all powerful stuff.
With the music thing, I have my playlists too and I often go through them very systematically. Recently I started working and I find myself listening to the same songs at the exact same stages of the journey every day, because it relaxes me. I too have found myself "drowning out the pain", but I sing, often "Bob Marley - Three little birds". Just the other day I started an impromptu sing a long on the metro because I happened to be singing too loudly so I just tried to get others to join in!
I think it's important to have those little things that you do, but it's the way that it interacts with others. I definitely don't think you should feel self conscious about the things you do, rocking, humming and so on, but maybe get others to interact with you? Another idea would be to try and replace them with something else. I try to get everyone involved in the way I'm feeling, humming and singing away when I can, making jokes about it, ("I see you're talking about me a lot, because my ear's really burning!" is always a classic!) and really just not worrying about how bad or weird or dead I look.
I realise it's all hard, and it's definitely all to be done in baby steps, but I'm sure everyone really cares about you. Remember, people can outwardly show a lot of resentment, just because they're worried and scared. When I had cancer, my parents were often angry at me for my sunny disposition on the whole situation, my tumour had it's own name and I'd often ask for seconds as "I'm eating for two". They weren't angry at me, resenting of me because I was dealing with it well, they had the utmost respect for me and my resilience (and I've got nothing on you!), but they'd often shout at me, tell me off for nothing, just because they were scared and didn't know how to express it.
These are all just different ways of looking at the same situations. By no means do I mean I'm right and things are not that bad, they're definitely bad! But maybe by simply looking at things differently, we can really help ourselves and those around us!
Melinda, I think what you and Will said is wonderful and expressing how you feel is what this forum is for. I would hum as well but then it triggered pain (vibration?). I rock back and forth when I have nausea too. We all have our own 'comforts' and no one should judge you for dealing with your pain in whatever way you choose.
I also have 3 children and one graduating in a couple of months so I know how difficult it is watching them, watch you. At first I would cry over their 'pain' as much as mine. Your kids will be stronger people and they learn valuable lessons through all of this. They learn to pitch in and realize that life has its struggles and we learn to adapt and carry forward to the best of our ability. I try to do simple things for them, write a nice email to them, play a board game, cuddle and talk or listen when talking is challenging, tell them all of the things I love about them. We still have a role, we are here and we can love and be loved.
Melinda Marie... said:
Hi Collette...thank you for replying. I think it may be somewhat normal to rock back and forth, since that is how we were probably nurtured as a baby, but I am doing it alot lately. The humming varies in tone, pitch and volume...kind of like someone plugging their ears saying "I can't hear you, I can't hear you!". I think it is my instinctive way to stamp out the pain. At first I didn't realize I was doing it because I was so overtired and I didnt want to go to sleep. I was fighting the pain and I was fighting sleep for some reason. I usually feel better when I do sleep, but when I wake up I am ok for a only a few minutes before it hits again. It seems harder and causes me horrible grief, because that window of a few minutes used to include phone calls to everyone saying "I feel a little better...I'll be there" followed by a wall of pain and me not showing up, again. Repeat the process a few times and you can see the problem. Sometimes, when Im by myself I will hear someone moaning or humming and it takes a minute before I can process that it is ME! That often happens when Ive forgotten to take my medicine. By the way, my music includes playlists have tags based on MOOD or SITUATION too. So my "SLEEPYTIME MUSIC LIST" is appropriate and actually helps me wind down a bit now. My mornings are best when I warm up to getting up with my "WORSHIP MUSIC LIST" being the first thing on when I open (or try to open) my eyes. I played the guitar for many many years and turned to that for everything when I was growing up. When I had the nerve block, one thing that did improve was my ability to command my fingers...so Im teaching myself to play again. Maybe the music helping me is because that has always been my "go to" when I was happy, sad, mad or confused. I ALSO LISTEN REGULARY TO POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT CDS and guided therapy cds that I strongly believe in. Im trying to reprogram myself in a positive way....anything to escape this pain and get back to my life! I have to hurry because my kids are growing up and they don't need me anymore! My middle child is all of a sudden a beautiful girl graduating from High School in less than two months, my oldest son is known for his amazing music talent and BEARD, and my youngest son has a bevy of teenage girls vying for his precious time and attention. Hopefully my mom will be around to change her mind about the strong and successful little girl she raised really well...I was doing it! Share your thoughts with me if you can. Im trying my hardest to be true to myself but everything is so questionable lately. Maybe post tramatic stress has kicked in...The people who used to believe in me have all given up. That cliche we all know -"IVE FALLEN AND I CANT GET UP!" has been capped with "YOU CAN ONLY KICK A DEAD HORSE FOR SO LONG"... Im not dead, but Im still out of the race and it is HORRIBLE to be stuck having to watch my life play on around me like a ("dead horse" works in this scenario). While Im at it, and it kind of makes sense, I will add...to add insult to injury I CAN HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME LIKE I AM DEAD - and no matter how hard anyone tries to not be hurtful, that is what is killing me. Hearing "Its such a shame, I don't know what happened to her" "She was such a smart, beautiful, happy, friendly, sunshiney girl" or just "Her poor kids" is not considered nice in my book. And Ive thrown the book at a few key people in my life but they read a page of it and don't get the TN part of it, come to their own conclusion, walk on and return only to repeat the process. Dangit...This discussion has morphed into a rant. Im sorry. I'm a dancing, singing happy horse....that's what I wanted to say. Silly.