This will probably turn into a rant about who knows what... Think of that as your 'Caution: Do Not Enter' if you plan on reading something that makes sense.
I am tired, sore and in incredible amounts of pain. Sadly, pain is nothing new. Six times in the past 7 years, I have had tumors in my sinus cavity. It has been about 3 years since I have had a reoccurrence however, the damage has been done. Chunks of bone are missing, soft tissue was eaten, and scar tissue covers my right maxillary sinus. About a year ago, the headaches came back in full force. After seeing a head ENT and getting several Hi-Res MRIs there was nothing he could do. I found a Neurologist/Psychologist (Great set to double docternate) who was able to help make the headaches managlble. And then, I woke up from a nap with my wife and daughter with the inabilty to move the right side of my face. A few days later, I was talking to my doctor and asked about the pain. That was when I was told I have TN.
They put me on some pills, so far they have done nothing for the pain and given me an uncomfortable side effect. I don't feel like I can learn to tolerate this pain and it is randomly happens and the pain level can vary. I like to think of myself as a 'former' tough guy. Earlier tonight, the episode was so bad that I fell off of my couch in pain, crying like a baby. I damn near stabbed myself with an exacto blade- only because it was in my hand when I quickly grabbed my neck. I am no where near feeling suicidal, I just want the pain to stop.
I feel like the worlds worse dad lately and a crappy husband. I know that I am doing the best I honesly can but that fact doesn't make me feel better. However, it is two hours until I have to wake up for work again.
Cheers,
Jordan