Feeling a lot more pain again the last couple of days. We took the 3 kiddos bowling yesterday, which was super fun!! I played through the pain, but I started feeling really out of it. We took the kids for pizza afterward and I was so...grumpy from the pain. That made me feel so bad so I put on my happy hat and just applied as much pressure to my face as I could with my hand. (My normal reaction to the pain.) Today lots of stabbing pain in my left ear and around my jaw...and my left eye has been bothering me a lot. Of some concern to me is the fact that I am beginning to feel very similar pains on the right side of my face. What does that mean? I suppose I should phone my neurologist's office tomorrow and let them know? I haven't said anything to anyone because...I sometimes worry that people will think I am just faking it. When I bring it up (which I don't often do) the subject gets changed rather quickly. I don't want to be a Debbie downer, but sometimes I just need to talk to someone. I have no friends anymore and my family is pretty busy...I miss that closeness. And I hate putting all of this on my hubby's shoulders. I guess I just feel really alone... Regardless I will still do my best to be my positive self...but sometimes I guess it is just hard.
I really am glad I found this group. It makes me feel less alone.
*hugs* I completely understand that "alone" feeling. It's really hard for friends and family to understand. And I tend to be like you, just keeping quiet and keeping the pain to myself. And yeah, sometimes i worry that people do think i'm faking it too. There aren't clearly visable signs that can "prove" it's there, so they just have to take your word for it. It's hard to keep all of that inside. I'm still fairly new here myself, but i'm glad you found this group too!
you are NOT alone.
As for the pain you are talking about...i agree that you should call the dr and discuss it with them.
Really hoping you find some relief and peace today,
~Mistee
I understand about not wanting to put it all on my partners shoulders, its enough strain as it is when u do not feel yourself and try to act fine as much as you can. Would you ever consider seeing a therapist or something? I personality cannot stand the mental healthcare system generally, bad therapy experiences as a kid but recently i just had to throw up my hands and see if i could talk to someone, i dont want to feel guilty about saying i feel crap and gettin git all out, bottling it up just is not great..cant believe im saying this but i cant wait for next week or so until my appointment, i just want some mental relief so i dont nosedive into depression which is fairly easy for me. Think about it..*hugs*
Thank you, Mistee...
TN is just crazy. We look perfectly fine on the outside. Well, except for the left side of my face being swollen quite a bit. I may be in pain, but when I am doing something with my kids or I'm around others I really do my best to hide it. When we were bowling I really wanted to scream, but I smiled and kept going. It's what we do. Besides my husband and kids no one has seen me when I'm at my worst. They have seen me on my hands and knees bent over trying to get some relief so they get it.
I have left my dr's nurse a message with my questions and to call. Hoping I will hear from them today!
Have a peaceful day!
Mistee Humphreys Shelton said:
*hugs* I completely understand that "alone" feeling. It's really hard for friends and family to understand. And I tend to be like you, just keeping quiet and keeping the pain to myself. And yeah, sometimes i worry that people do think i'm faking it too. There aren't clearly visable signs that can "prove" it's there, so they just have to take your word for it. It's hard to keep all of that inside. I'm still fairly new here myself, but i'm glad you found this group too!
you are NOT alone.
As for the pain you are talking about...i agree that you should call the dr and discuss it with them.
Really hoping you find some relief and peace today,
~Mistee
Thanks, Mangamel...
I have thought about maybe seeing a therapist of some sort. I have battled mild depression for most of my life, but have always just dealt with it. I do worry that, even though I am determined to stay positive throughout this, I could fall into depression much worse than normal. I actually did see a therapist about 6 years ago. It was sort of a bad experience and after about 4 sessions I quit going. I always felt worse when I left. So, I guess I'm on the fence about it. I've almost always been able to "fix" myself, but this TN is a beast and I can't seem to get my head around it. My husband is such a good man. He really is, but he just wants to fix me. I have tried to explain to him that there really is no permanent fix, but because he is a man he wants to fix it and move on. haha! I wish he could. I've told him that sometimes I just need to vent and cry and I just need him to listen and hug me. Just knowing that someone understands can sometimes help.
Mangamel said:
I understand about not wanting to put it all on my partners shoulders, its enough strain as it is when u do not feel yourself and try to act fine as much as you can. Would you ever consider seeing a therapist or something? I personality cannot stand the mental healthcare system generally, bad therapy experiences as a kid but recently i just had to throw up my hands and see if i could talk to someone, i dont want to feel guilty about saying i feel crap and gettin git all out, bottling it up just is not great..cant believe im saying this but i cant wait for next week or so until my appointment, i just want some mental relief so i dont nosedive into depression which is fairly easy for me. Think about it..*hugs*
I feel for you, the thought you may become bi-lateral is a nightmare I can relate to. My inbox is always open if you want a private rant in confidence. We don't mind how many discussions you post here to let off steam. that is what the group is for.
((((BIG GIANT HUG)))) There are a couple of people who act like that with me and it pisses me off! Do they think I WANT this sh*t????