Desperate, scared, in agony 3 weeks ago.
I consider myself a strong woman. I pride myself on "toughing things out" and finding answers to my problems and solving them to the best of my ability. TN has brought me to my knees.
It all started with what I assumed to be dental pain in my jaw early in 2012. I withstood it for two months assuming it would go away as it always had before...I was wrong.
Finally, I gave up and went to the dentist expecting, at the worst, a filling or root canal. It was an exercise in futility to pinpoint the pain, but dentist said rear molar needed to come out, so oral surgery was scheduled. I went through with the surgery with nagging doubts that I was doing the right thing and I honestly did not want to lose the tooth. Call me vain, but it was my first ever removed. And the uncertainty that I needed to lose it was ever present in my mind.
Months passed and though the pain was bearable, it never went away. In late September it returned with a fiery vengeance. Eating, drinking, talking, using a straw, putting on lip balm, washing my face all created stabs of pain. But honestly, it was the relentless dull achy grinding pain between the stabs that wore me down.
On a Friday filled with unrelenting cruel pain, I lost it. I just couldn't take it one more day. I called my doctor and asked her to see me. She couldn't fit me in, so I went to Urgent Care at her request.
Now, here is where all healthcare professionals should take note. I went in in pain and left in pain AND despairing. The doctor was rude, uneducated, and dismissive. I wanted to punch him. "What do you want me to do for you, DEAR?" I told him I wanted answers -- no more opiates - no more dentistry - AN ANSWER. He told me he had no diagnostic equipment, to take the prescriptions he offered and go back to my dentist, and then he said I couldn't possibly be in that much pain, so his parting remark was this....
You've joined the millions of chronic pain sufferers in America. Best of luck to you.
With more drugs and an anti-inflammatory, I went home feeling utterly defeated and like a drug-seeker that was being ignored due to their disbelief in my symptoms or his complete lack of education of symptoms of TN. I had been to this site and felt rather sure that this was the answer and had told him as much. My words fell on deaf ears. At least I could fall asleep -- though hating the "rummy" feeling with no pain relief.
Several days later, I got in to see my regular doctor and began describing my symptoms again. I consulted my many notes on my iPad that I had been noting to better present what was happening. I told my doctor that I had been researching my symptoms and I asked if it was possible I had TN. As I finished describing the pain and triggers, she began vigorously nodding her head and said,
You are CLASSIC TN!
At this point, I simply lost it. I sobbed like a baby. She didn't make me feel crazy, or stupid, or weak. She hugged me and told me she would help me with my pain. And so far, she has exceeded that promise. Lyrica works for me, although triggers are still triggers. Too much talking is the worst, much to the delight of my young adults. :)
When I saw my dentist again, I told him about my diagnosis. No more pulled teeth. No concerns about oral surgery that could break my jaw and leave me drooling. At least, not for now. He admitted that he had been grasping at straws in my treatment. I was not angry about losing my tooth to this silly TN because I knew that he truly wanted to help me. He meant well. It's just that TN never crossed his mind.
I don't know what the future holds and as we work to get dosages that work for me, I look forward to live this "new normal" and adapt my life to TN, I am hopeful. My doctor is supportive and I feel like I am being heard. I am grateful that she is well-informed and compassionate, while maintaining a true professionalism.
I feel like the lucky one. Diagnosed in less than a year. Managing my pain. I hope someone reads this who needs help and finds hope in my words. Keep pushing to find the doctor who will work with you to find an answer for your pain. It is possible.