The pain! the depression, the anxiety, the fear,

and the problem, I WANT TO BE DONE!!!!! I was told by the psychiatrist that is a very broad term. I then said, ok, I won't keep living like this.Yes, I have a plan to end my life.He wants me to wait until I can get to the pain clinc for a consult,then? This is 30 yrs.of more pain then I know how to deal with!! I have reached out over and over, and over again. I continue to reach out! I have a consult with yet another neurologists Dec. 5th, my gp Nov.5th, the psychiatrist Nov.? Whitchie poo (friend) and I keep calling for a canceled app. and EXPLAIN WHY! it doesn't matter to my Dr. I really thought he was going to be different. I found out this morning when we just showed up at his office.The receptionist was good about emailing him right away, what she understood out of my sobbing and basically falling apart at the front desk, I felt like a fool,but at the same time I also kind of didn't care. I don't know for sure what the 1st message was to him I was babbling so bad and crying,she was so nice so the nurse came out a few mins. later ask me could I wait a few mins. Sure I could wait all day. Then, I never saw the Dr. they had me talk to the crisis worker, it was not agood day! She took all the info I had brought from TNA I know a dear support group leader that had sent to me FAST! and she wrote down my question to the doc. and promised if I would wait until Monday she would make sure on Monday when I called I had my questions answered, I told her I would do my best. I really don't. want to die but I WON'T go on like this.!! PLEASE HELP! I will be back later I am going to go do my mother's hair. Thanks to all. Gma

Z

s to him I was rattlin
e

I know how you feel! I was exactly where you are just days ago. It is so hard to keep going and going and feel like you never get any where! Please just hold on and remember all those that care about you! I care. The others on this site care. We all understand and face it over and over. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom that could encourage you or help your pain but unfortunately I don't. All I have is my love, compassion and empathy. I think we come here and talk about being at the end of our rope because we know people will care and understand. We all do care and understand.

I don't know what to tell you to do next. I have tried to be persistent and see doctor after doctor and it has not helped. Others have found help and we have to keep hoping we will find help too!

My prayers and hugs to you today!

Have you begged anyone for lidocaine?..?

She has Tryed all of that stuff.. patches and creams ext... none of it has worked for her. Touching face hurt more then creams and patches relived. We don't no where to turn now.. I feel useless I have come to relise how bad tn is..should I have her comited when it gets this bad and she wants to just quit. Sometimes I'm afraid to leave her alone..

If you tell her to commit herself

to stay alive…yes… BUT…

Many unknowingly psychiatrists thinks TN is in your head!
. Make sure to take TN crisis info if psych ward.

They have to know what meds she has tried, what meds most recently… And see if an antidepressant would help… Im attaching a list of our favorite meds to share with Mexican doctors!

http://www.livingwithtn.org/forum/topics/for-those-on-the-medicaion-merry-go-round-i-ve-compiled-a-list

If you are afraid to leave her…and she has a plan to end it…
Make sure she is safe until a neuro doctor can help… Is there an ER
You can take her to with the TN crisis info?

Kc, I take her to se the psychiatrist on this coming Tuesday, he has been pretty useless so far.The big problems I see, is 1st is her drs. The last year have been asking her to wait untill she gets into a pain clinic,as you all probably know (I am just finding out) that it takes months to get in for JUST a consult.I don't know what happens from there or how long, or if they will7u even be able to help her.Any thoughts? That is one of her fears. SsTwice they have made her apps. to what she thought was to pain clinics, but the Dr. goofed and she ended seeing 1st a neuro surgeon, then a neurologists, which both just told her what she already new.She is waiting for her new gp ( who we found out is leaving the praticie in the next month or so) to get referral to yet another we hope pain clinic.She has been through it all, tens unit, nerve blocks, tens unit, gamma knife, mvd,ect. NOTHING HAS HELPED JUST MADE THINGS WORSE OVER THE LAST ALMOST 30 YEARS!!! ER will no longer help her, think she is drug seeking. (I KNOW BETTER!!! or her pain meds would be gone.)There lies the problem,she knows she does not have any extra when the pain gets TERRIBLE and what she does have doesn't work very well a lot of the time.Then her fear and anxiety becomes over whelming. Cieo asked what meds she was on, lyrica, phenobarbital these have been the best meds in all these years, THEY HAVE SAVED HER LIFE SO FAR! (Read grandson's I think blog) (STICK A FORK IN ME I'M DONE! FAR from enough and 24 mgs. of diludid aday. She isn't even asking for a higher dose of anything she just wants to switch pain meds.same dose. If he can't. do that then she wants a new plan she sent him a message asking what he would do for one of his family members if they had this? She also said she will be calling Monday to get some kind of answer because she told him this was her well being and HER LIFE! I think it is just wishful thinking on her part, but I sure hope she is right! Back to her app. Tuesday to the psychiatrist WHAT DO I OR WE SOMEONE SAY TO GET HER THE RIGHTKIND OF HELP? NOT JUST LOCKED UP IN A PSYCH WARD WHERE THEYMAY DO NOTHING. FOR HER PAIN OR WOULD THEY HAVE TO HELP! After along talk with her grandson (punkin) I realize that this FEAR, ANXIETY, has been just building and building over the last couple years only, before that it was just the terrible tn pain not this other mess. Plunking says he has watched HOW VERY MICH SHE HAS ENDURDED IN HIS LIFETIME! He says he understands why she would want to end her life, but he asked her if she would hang on as long as she could,she has been and she is trying so hard to find where she needs to be.We have no idea what is the best thing at this point. PLEASE ANY ADVICE, IDEAS WOULD HELP! WE ARE AT SUCH A LOSS. THANKS TO YA ALL PUNKIN and WHITCHIE POO. WISHING ALL THE BEST POSSIBLE TODAY! why she would want to end her life . . FORER PAIN OR WOULD THEY HAVE TO HELP HER? ect. ect.

Have you tried Toradol (Ketorlac)?? It is a NON narcotic high powered anti-inflammatory, but works better than anything I've ever tried! It is usually prescribed after major surgery. It can only be taken for short periods of time (from 5 days up to two weeks in lower doses), however, when I show up in the ER in crisis it has worked every time. And they will see you are not a "drug seeker" since it is non narcotic...

Yes Russ I don't think at this point there is much of anything she hasn't tried. Thank you so much for your response.We are looking for HELP and support so BAD! We all say we think she's caught between a rock and a hard and we DON'T. KNOW WHAT TO DO!! praying for all of you!

I know this is kinda basic and sounds stupid but we have a heat pack that is made from rice in a long cloth bag so you can wrap it around your head or neck. It is really a simple idea and I laughed at it but it has helped some to get pure peperment oil from someone like YOUNGLIFE and put some drops on your neck and head where it hurts (not in eyes) then heat the hot pack and let it lay on your neck up close to base of skull (you can put a cloth under it if it feels to hot) and I lay in the bed where I have nice pillows and prop my self up. I can't stand laying flat so I prop up. Do whichever feels better. Also always remember WE are ALL here for you and no one wants to loose you. If commitment is necessary then please do it and we will all still be here for you.

Please look at my posting i sent you for a link to OUR favorite meds

There are over 70, and some newer ones!

Make a list off of that… Write down was she has not tried that might help…
Example amnitriptalyne + baclofen is for pain and depression … Many here on it

I dont know why she has not been to a pain center… I dont understand mexico healthcare works

Dillauded IV. Helped once at my ER… I HAD ONE DAY of no pain to relax

Sorry not much help

Cleo,gma is with a friend so I will do the best I can to answer your questions. We are all so afraid of what tomorrow will bring with her app. with the psychiatrist, she thinks she will end up in a psycho ward and they will not control her pain and then gma will flip out. We need any input.Any ideas what could or will happen? Sorry Cleo, I was a little upset when I started this.Nine top teeth were infected for 8 months (long story, no ins.) Was kept on antibiotics after dentist broke them all off in her mouth trying to get them out. Way to infected! Was not put back on any antibiotics after teeth had to be cut out. Tn1 started close to a year later and then over the last almost 30 yrs. and failed gamma knife and mvd Dr. Casey found too many blood veesles just allcwrraped around the nerve he moved the 2 and padded them in hopes it would help things were worse for many yrs. Some of the side effects from both lasted several yrs. Now things just keep getting worse as the yrs. have went on and her Dr. is leaving pratice and to busy to ever have given her 10 mins. let alone now when things have some how become something gma does not know how to handle. Thanks so for the help, punkin

I tried to find the story behind this but couldn't find much. How did the infection in her teeth start? Did she have a root canal on any of those teeth at any time? Does she have chronic osteomyelitis? (bone infection)?

This is not easy pain to deal with and getting upset makes it worse...but trying to not get upset al lot of times is like telling the sun to not rise. There has been one time that I was suicidal and almost taken in. Honestly, I wish they would have. Maybe someone would have understood the pain better. I am one of the very few who have fortunately had doctors who believe me...but I have clear and convincing proof about what is wrong with me. I can understand how awful it would not be to have that.

And to continue what Cleo said, a lot of those meds for mental problems are part of the concoction that they give you to help with nerve pain. I used to wonder why but now I understand that it is because your mental state plays a big part of controlling the nerve pain. Take them....Cymbalta, amitriptyline, and klonopin are all mental type drugs that also help with nerve pain.