Hello hello my lovely lot,
I was just reading a post that Nancy left in my last blog and it reminded me of a conversation I’ve had with a friend of mine.
Now my friends mother has neuralgia, or so she calls it, from what I’ve heard though I think it’s far more likely to be AFP, or ATN, anyway my pop-armchair- non medical diagnosis of a woman I’ve never so much as spoken to aside, there is a point that I will come to.
Now my friend has serious medical issues herself, and is in chronic pain on a daily basis and a difficult future ahead, but she was talking about her mother and I felt really torn in the conversation, essentially her mother has been suffering since my friend was a child, and has every day of life been affected by her pain and it has deeply affected their life as a family.
Now as someone with a cranial neuralgia when my friend said that she was sick and fed up of hearing about it, and that her mum should basically suck it up and get on with life and that her problem was her attitude it really really got to me, this conversation was months ago and it’s been niggling at me since.
She is someone who is very positive in herself, she gets on with life and is really inspirational,and deals with extreme pain herself, I have a huge amount of time and respect for her, but I really struggle to think of how to deal with her feelings on this, and for one I feel that I can not possibly discuss my problems with her given how she feels about her mums condition.
I’m not worried about my relationship with her, we get on great, I just where possible avoid the subject, what I’m worried about it just how badly my condition has or has the future potential to affect those around me.
This spazzy she-b!tch knife wielding passenger in my noggin is very much a part of who I am, she has been the all encompassing dominatrix in my life, and does affect a lot of what I do and do not partake in, and the relationships I have are affected by her, I can not for a second deny that, I am very very lucky with the support I have around me, my family and friends are fantastic and are very understanding.
I have however met those whose relationships have crumbled, whose spouses and family could not or would not understand, and I don’t want time to have that effect in my life.
Now my friend is talking about hearing about her mothers pain every day for nearly 40 years I can totally understand that as a by stander that it must be hard, especially if it looks as though her mother does nothing to help herself,but her mother is depressed too, but hey who wouldn;t be after 40 years of this, we’ve all fallen into that trap!? but how do we stop this happening to those around us?
Do we suck it up and say nothing? I am fairly certain that I would totally implode, and turn to sheer self destruction, it’s really difficult, I know that this has badly affected a lot of the relationships I have, but I would hate to think that my friends and family could no longer bear to be around me because they think I should stop whinging and get on with my life…
I don’t know it was just something that I thought I would share with the group and see what your take was on it.
Thoughts, insights all greatfully received!
Much love as ever
Gracie x x x
“I don’t want time to have that effect in my life.” Nor can we afford to.
Gracie, something tells me that you won’t “suck it up” and that your positive attitude and gratitude will shine GRACEfully thru. bob
Not at all Nancy, it was nothing more than that you reminded me of the conversation and got me thinking about it again.
You are right though, without having a neuralgia, you will never understand it, it’s awful. I know what you mean though, sometimes we just have to shake ourselves a bit and get on with things.
Aw Bob, bless you, I have to be honest, I think that my " grace" shines through better in text than person, ( maybe not when I’m raving about the dangers of oral, but I get your jist! ;oD) But thanks ma darlin, as always I appreciate your sentiment.
Much love to you both
Gracie x x x
his spazzy she-b!tch knife wielding passenger in my noggin is very much a part of who I am, she has been the all encompassing dominatrix in my life, and does affect a lot of what I do and do not partake in, and the relationships I have are affected by her, I can not for a second deny that, I am very very lucky with the support I have around me, my family and friends are fantastic and are very understanding.
" I love this and relate to this as well".
Tara Shuey
Allentown,Pa