So I have been having a difficult time emotionally lately. I now apparently have hypothyroidism on top of tn1 and 2…from the medication or whatever I don’t know. I have not been able to work for a year now and my long term disability wages suck. I am so physically exhausted. I can drift off anywhere and yet I am still in pain. The best is my family seem sick of me being sick. Like I’m not. The guilt and anger I feel towards them are overwhelming. My husband one minute is saying whatever it takes…no problem and then snaps at me for falling asleep on the couch or not wanting to go for a bike ride ( I’m off balance and the wind…well you know). I don’t bring in as much money so he claims it’s all his and I feel like I have to rationalize every purchase. I am lonely because I have isolated my self from my friends who frustrate me by assuming if I have a good day and smile then I have recovered or getting better. People still ask so much of me and when I say no, I know they think I’m making this all up and just don’t want to help. Everyone complains I’m always late to get going and never want to do anything. I try really hard to be “normal” make dinner everyday, my husbands lunch, clean the house, be a “good” mom but I’m just so tired and depressed. Its hard to tell if it’s because of the medication or the hypothyroidism,pain or just life.
The thing that keeps me afloat is all of you and your stories. They help me know I’m not alone. I love the advice and encouragement.
Thanks
Your hubby should be thankful to have someone who stretches that far! But don't overdo it if it drains you. You have the same right as everyone in your family to be happy and content, and they have to bend your way too. I am very lucky, my sisters, stepmom and father are super, and I don't know how I would make it if I could not be honest and loyal to myself. Make sure to take care of yourself!
I forgot to thank you Tineline for your kind words. It’s people like you who let me know I’m not alone and keep me moving forward. Thanks for taking a moment to reply it means a lot:)