It was a very painful weekend for me. If the weather would stay consistent, I think it would help. The cold is killing me. I slept most of the weekend and wanted to sleep when I was awake! I finally broke down in tears to my Mom, my sister, my husband, basically anyone who asked how I was doing. I saw my neurologist today…thank God!!! We are changing up my meds to try and help the pain. I feel like I’m going crazy. I keep taking Vicodin to get through, but I don’t want to keep doing that. We are taking me off of the gabapentin and changing to tegretol. Fingers crossed! It WILL be better!! I have to keep a positive outlook. I look at my kids and I don’t want their memories of me to be in any way that I was “sick”. Nurses are the worst patients, I know. I promise, I will be the model patient!! This will NOT define me!!

(((( Dollface )))),
I know this sucks! I’m glad your neuro is working with you and you’re changing up your meds. I didn’t tolerate Neurontin, but Tegretol has really helped me over the years. ( I take the slow release) I hope it works for you too!

I know you’re a nurse, but remember it will take a few weeks to get to a theraputic dose, and you’ll probably want to sleep a little more…Side effects tend to lessen as your body adjusts.
When I was first dx in 2002 I was 29yrs old and my children were 9yrs and 4yrs old.
It was very difficult , I felt such guilt and worried about the same things…
They are now 19 & 14 yrs old, 2 beautiful well rounded caring girls!
My oldest vaguely remembers my health issues back then, the youngest has no recollection. Kids are resilient, thank goodness!
And you are brave and strong and an excellent role model for your children.
Have faith, thinking of you, (( hugs)) Mimi

I know EXACTLY how you feel. The pain is undescribable and dictates your daily activities. I too have had days where the pain was so bad, there seemed to be no hope in sight and frustration was leading to anger and all I could do was cry. Crying helps. After a good cry I felt better and the pain seems to subside.

Vicodin was the most successful for me too. However, I'm like you, when my prescription ran out I didn't bother to have it refilled. I don't want to have an addiction to Vicodin and TN (smile). I was on Tegretol but only 100 mg 3x a day, as well as Gabapentin. It didn't help and due to my size and side effects and I can't increase the dosage. Hopefully it will work for you.

Hang in there. I have an appointment Monday with a NeuroSurgeon to discuss MVD. I am terrified to have the surgery but I don't think I can keep living like this either. The pain is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Good luck with tegretol.