I have been in a really sour mood the few weeks, and I'm sorry if this has shown in any replies or posts I've made as of late. The last few days have been rough. We found out the landlord gave the bank the house we rent in lieu of foreclosure on Monday. If we are lucky we'll get about 9 more months before we have to move. Finding a new place within our needs and price range is going to be tough. This news has been putting my stomach in knots for days. I thought this was the worse news for me of the week.
But nope. Today I had an appointment with my GP. Since this last October I, be been having a harder and harder time walking, basically I walk like a 90 year man without his walker. I thought it might be due to the medications I'm on. This seems not to be the case. After walking about, being poked at, and hammered on to watch my reflexes I was given even worse news. That my messed up walking is not just going to go away (because that would be too easy), but is mostly a neurological problem. The thought that I might have yet another issue on top of just TN (and fibro) is setting me over the edge. Then there is a very LARGE worry of being crippled before I turn 35 is freaking me the heck out to the point where I'm going to give my self a nervous break down. What the heck is wrong with me, and why can I not just be normal?!
This is not ment for a pity party, and I'm sorry this a bit off topic. I just wanted to give a heads up that I may not be about a lot, and may sound snappy but that is not my intent to do so. Please forgive me if I may sound snappy or am quite for awhile. I just need to take some time for some things to sink in.
Thanks all and have great day that is pain free.
Oh Kari sweetheart, I am sad to read this, so sad.........................
If I could make you better I would. You are still lovely even if you say you are grumpy xx
You can always have Whine with your Cheese on this site!
Are there message boards for whatever your leg ailment is?
You are safe here !
{{{{Kari}}}} I'm sorry isn't just words, it's my heart. Try to find a blessing every day. Something little, you got oout of bed, you actually have a bed to sleep in, the sun is shining, your support system loves you grumpy or not. Whatever it is find something. Hang around here more or less if you need to. Take this moment by moment, you are stronger than you think. blessings and may you have peace as you move forward~~
Kari,
I’m sorry you’re having a horrid week! Ugh, you have every right to close the blinds, pull the covers over your head and have a good cry/vent.
After you’ve had enough time to process everything, your strength will return and a plan will form and you’ll manage to get through, I promise!
Life can be overwhelming at times…
We’re here for you…always. <3
What did the doctor say was the neurological thing causing your walking troubles? Only if you don’t mind sharing, I respect your privacy if you’d rather not share.
Thinking of you, trust that things will be okay, it’s just going to take some time.
((( hugs ))), Mimi xx
Thanks all.
Today I’m just trying not to think on any of this. Though it is hard when something is just screaming at me whenever I walk about:(
Mimi,
My GP would not say. Only that it is neuro issues most likely but can be also my genetics after we went over some of the rare illnesses the rest of my family has (parents, siblings, aunts, and grandparents).
Kari, PLEASE go to an actual neurologist. If you are having this many problems, your GP may not be equipped to treat you. I wish you luck and relief! (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Donna,
I will be seeing my neuro as well. All of doctors actual work as a team which is really nice. Tomorrow I go for another MRI with and without contrast. So I shall be radio active sick person 
once both my GP and my neuro get the results I will then be seeing the neuro, and we’ll discuss about some really fancy blood work 
on genetics. Hopefully I won’t have to do this but if I do it might give some more clues as to what I’m up against and if my kiddos are at risk. Which is the most disturbing to me. I do not want my kids to be at risk for developing this type of medical issues. So there’s my update of the day so far.
((hugs also))) ive been thinking about ya all day!! your all my family now i just want everyone to be ok!!
I see, well I’m glad they are all on the ball, good luck with your mris, I hope they provide answers…one step at a time girl…I completely understand your concen for your children, but focus on YOU right now…sending positive vibes your way!
Any body have some good tips on how not to flip out in the tube thing? I’m not really excited to be in that MRI for a whole 45 minutes at the minimum.
What grumpy..I didn't notice any grumpy!! You soo craZy... I hope everything turns out ok., girl. Keep your chin up.
Min, Oh and keep your eyes closed!!!! And listen to good music, bring your own CD's. :)
Yah Kari since I have anxiety I had to take 3 Mg of ativan its a benzo fast acting anxiety med like valuim or zanex u have any of those? If not some places like that u can buy one there I always tell the person I have bad anxiety disorder and make sure they are guna be right there amd if I need to get out I can and they have always understood and they can get u out if u need it wadnt as enclosed as I thought it was guna be but I just kept my eyes closed
The MRI tube is nothing compared to the GAMMA tube. I thought I was gonna lose it in there.... One more reason not to have GKRS procedure done. I have anxiety and I do fine in the MRI one as... long as I keep my eyes closed most of the time.
So eyes closed, I can use my IPhone in there to listen to music (I asked the appointment lady), and although I would love to take some anti freak out medication those are the no no list to mix with some of my other medication (unhappy face here). I’m not sure why the MRI enclosure deal is making nervous this time; it’s not like I haven’t been in one of those tubes before. Then again I guess that’s better than worrying about how body is broken now:(
Go to your happy place…I usually take Ativan, as I’m extremely claustrophobic …but my last MRI I was unable too due to my meds…so I was even more anxious…
As soon as they strapped me in I closed my eyes shut and started visualizing my happy place, they had music on already so that was great…I survived…
Good luck! Mimi
Kari, I keep my eyes closed from the time I go in the tube until I come out, so I never see the inside. I also let myself drift into a favorite place, for me a beach or walking in the woods. I force myself to not think about anything negative. However, if you can take Ativan, that would of course, be a huge help. I've never taken anything for the four I've had and each has lasted an hour or more.
You will do great! I'm a sissy at heart, but just gave myself permission to take it as a much deserved "time out" from everything else.
Good, Keep us posted!
Kari said:
Donna,
I will be seeing my neuro as well. All of doctors actual work as a team which is really nice. Tomorrow I go for another MRI with and without contrast. So I shall be radio active sick person :p once both my GP and my neuro get the results I will then be seeing the neuro, and we'll discuss about some really fancy blood work :( on genetics. Hopefully I won't have to do this but if I do it might give some more clues as to what I'm up against and if my kiddos are at risk. Which is the most disturbing to me. I do not want my kids to be at risk for developing this type of medical issues. So there's my update of the day so far.
You'll be fine. :) Be ok.. You have your IPhone so no problem....:D
Well I did not have freak out in the MRI yeasterday. The contrast made me lobster red for a few hours after. I’m not sure how long it will take to get the results back though. I am tried of walking all funny and falling.