Hello everyone,
It's bittersweet to meet everyone - I wish we wouldn't have, because that would mean we don't need to be here, but I'm glad we did.
As you can tell, I'm new to the site and to TN. I was diagnosed at the end of July, a week after the pain started. It sounds like I got lucky in that regard. My doctor is a neighbor and friend so I thought I could talk to him and get a sympathetic ear. He was sympathetic of course, but jumped right on the medication band wagon. He didn't tell me it was a diagnostic tool, he said it would take away the pain. He also refused to recommend a neurologist, saying that they woudl just say the same thing.
True, they probably would. But, when I told him, after a 6 weeks of being on gabapentin, that I had break through pain, he said, "Really? Oh, well let's try a second line drug." Um, dude, you put me on a second line drug.
So I called thee University of Iowa neurological clinic and made my own appointment. It's coming up this Monday! I never thought I'd be in a position were I'd beg for surgery, rather than a quick fix medicinal option.
I stopped taking the gabapentin two weeks ago when I realized (why did it take so long to realize?) that my fatigue, weight gain, and depression were side effects, not because of school and family things. Why didn't I realize something was wrong when I entertained disturbing thoughts of suicide - a nice little drug side effect?
My family is sympathetic. My boyfriend is too, but he doesn't how to handle someone who's ill (he just makes jokes about how I might get a needle stuck in my face). But I still feel like I'm putting too much on them, like it's only a matter of time before they start looking at me and saying, "Jeez, will ya shut up about the pain already?! Stop being so dramatic!" I'm pretty sure they won't, but no matter how many different analogies I come up with, there's still a gap of understanding.
Thanks for listening, everyone! I think I'm done for right now.
~Paige