I want to give up but I can't. Torn :(

I have been through so much. 24 years of pain. I want to throw in the towel but of course I can’t, people need me.
Ive had 2 neck fusion surgeries and live with constant neck pain, stiffness, shoulder pain, headaches, etc.
Than about 5 years ago TN started. After being bounced around from dentist, oral surgeon, family dr., finally my TMJ Dr. told me about TN.
Another 2 years and finally had someone who would do surgery on me… an mvd.
The problem is, one week after my MVD the neurosurgeon was arrested for Insurance fraud and he surrendered his license on Dec. 17. Now it appears nobody else will see me. Ive tried to make appts with the best in the city but he says no. I woke up from my mvd with symptoms of anesthesia dolorosa and have been miserable ever since. It’s like having a constant electrical current running through my face,nose,teeth,tongue,eye… sharp pains in the eye yet numb to touch. I cant feel if food is hanging from my mouth or even putting on make up. I give up. Its taken me months to try and make another appt and I got the run around again. Im going crazy, I’m sure I’m driving my family crazy as much as I try not to complain. It’s 24x7 and consuming me. Ive been through so much that this HAS to be for a reason. I’m a faithful person and and trying my best to trust God, but I feel so alone, so helpless. If the Dr’s don’t care, why should I? I’m tired of fighting quite frankly sigh I know I’m not alone but would love some advice, a kick in the butt maybe…???

Wow, you have been thru it. I am so sorry for all of this! Have you considered checking with another neuro-surgeon outside of your area. I had a wonderful experience with Dr Michael Alexander at Ceder Sinai Hospital in LA and also very positive results. No pain in over 5 months post op. I just believe that there has to be something that will provide some answers and also give you relief. Keep us posted here as we will lift you up in prayer and keep you close in thought. Stay strong; consider it lifes greatest challenge in which you will conquer in time. Big hugs and thoughts coming your way from North Idaho!

  • cyberknife radiation treatment has worked miracles for me, 4 months pain free, in fact my face is pretty numb which is amazing! I had surgery, did the meds.. .nothing.. I'm praying that it doesn't come back, but I strongly recommend looking into it. Don't give up! I hate how you are feeling because I know the pain. I understand that it really feels like no one can quite understand ... and they really can't. Just don't give up.

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