I am a newby, When ever I get an attack my husband blames me. He says I must have not eaten right or something. He doesn’t believe the pain is really bad. When I take the meds he blames the meds. He never touches my face until I am hurting. He then wants to play by touching my nose or cheek. That makes it fire even worse. I don’t know how to make him understans. Advice please
I had my fiance look at the information with me so he understands
I tried to get him to look online with me but he won’t. He says he doesn’t need to read about it. I wish he would
tina corriveau said:
I had my fiance look at the information with me so he understands
That’s gotta be hard
It hurts because I don’t want him to feel sorry for me I just want him to understand. When I am hurting I don’t feel like trying to explain that it hurts. I really don’t want to be fussed at.
tina corriveau said:
That’s gotta be hard
I’m sorry, but how old is your husband? That’s ridiculous. I’m a youngin so i don’t know if this is really my place to say anything, but TN is a lifelong battle only made worse by people who don’t understand or don’t even want to understand. I have friends who tell me i’m making up excuses when i’m in pain and can’t hang out and when i told them TN is also known as the “suicide disease” that shut them up a little lol. I’m sure there’s many people on here whose TN has strained their relationships. I’m sorry again if i’m too bold here…
I thank you for being honest. I am middle age and so is my husband. I wonder why someone would doubt our pain. My goodness I would not wish this on anyone. It is hard but I go on.
Korie Leach said:
I’m sorry, but how old is your husband? That’s ridiculous. I’m a youngin so i don’t know if this is really my place to say anything, but TN is a lifelong battle only made worse by people who don’t understand or don’t even want to understand. I have friends who tell me i’m making up excuses when i’m in pain and can’t hang out and when i told them TN is also known as the “suicide disease” that shut them up a little lol. I’m sure there’s many people on here whose TN has strained their relationships. I’m sorry again if i’m too bold here…
Precious, that is just awful. I'm so sorry. Needless to say, you are not to blame for any of your attacks. Has your husband always been like this or has he been helpful in the past? It certainly doesn't sound like he is handling this situation very well. For him to touch your face when you are having an attack just seems cruel to me. I don't want to rub salt in an open wound, but my own husband has been very supportive, so it is possible to find a way to cope with this condition within a relationship, even though it definitely isn't easy.
I am so glad that you have found this forum and that you are searching out the support you deserve to have. Everyone is here because we are in the same boat. We may not completely understand the nuances of each others pain or lives, but we all know implicitly what it is like to live with such a condition and the pain, loneliness, isolation, and fear that it can bring. We are also here because we are choosing to look for ways to look out for ourselves and each other and to find ways to make our lives better. You are not alone.
In terms of advice, I am at a bit of a loss. I can't imagine why he isn't willing to even read about the condition. If it were me, I would start by asking him not to touch my face when I am in pain. That should be easy enough for him to do. It does sound like he should see someone to help him deal with his issues, but it doesn't seem like that is something he would be willing to do. Again, I think the efforts you have made to create your own outside support system have been well spent and are worth pursuing further. There are a lot of wonderful people here.
I will be sending you good thoughts.
Take care,
Chris
Thank you. I like the idea of telling him it is catching! Thanks for the laugh. I believe some people think that if they haven’t heard of something it does not exist. That is sad. I do know ging through this has made me more sensitive to other’s pain. I am going to try to talk to him again but when I do and he still doesn’t get it or even seem to want to get it I get stressed. When ever I get stressed it is a major trigger. I appreciate you
Jackie said:
Precious I feel so sorry for you, we all need support with this illness, there are some people who take longer to “get it” I am afraid. Part of me says to tell him its catching next time he tries to touch your face but that’s plain silly and Ihave had a crazy day and have a weird sense of humour. Sorry thats tasteless of me. You do not really have to convince him about the pain, he knows deep down but maybe he is struggling with his emotions. Don’t get me wrong I do not feel sorry for him but I have tried to look at things from the other side for you. People have said to me in a very disdainful way "well I’VE never heard of that to which I always reply well lets all hope YOU don’t get it then. Its a tough one with no quick fixes but you can be assured we all understand your pain and wish you well. Jackie
your husband is an idiot ( sorry but thats how i feel)
my son read its aka the suicide dease and he couldnt read any more
tina corriveau said:
I had my fiance look at the information with me so he understands
Mines a flip flopper. 80% he's pretty understanding but has a hard time with the insomnia and things I can't do.