So I got my MRI results yesterday, from my – ha-ha – neurologist. So far, out of all the medical appointments I've had, this one was the worst. I was in for about three minutes, where she told me "Your MRI is normal, no vascular loops, nothing wrong" and that was it – dismissed. No discussion of options. She never even mentioned that there may be a vascular loop that hasn't shown up on the MRI – this being the norm, from what I've read. There was no discussion at all. It was like the MRI is normal, let's get to the drugs, because there's nothing else for you.
Actually, it wasn't even that. There was no real communication or explanation at all. If I hadn't educated myself about this condition I'd have thought it was all over for me. However, we then had an equally unenlightening conversation about the Lamotrigine she had prescribed me last time, which turned out to be a (side effect) disaster. She prescribed me Gabapentin to replace it, which is what I had been going to ask my doctor for anyway, and then we had probably one of the most ridiculous conversations I've ever had with a 'consultant':
To put it in context, before this moment all we had discussed was the migraines that Lamotrigine had given me. Once that was done I got out my sheet of paper to see what I wanted to ask her. She saw it and pre-empted me, obviously keen to be off: "Do you have a question for me?" Yes, says, I, and brought up the MVD operation, and how much would I have to suffer before I qualified on the NHS to get it? She gave me one of her special condescending smiles and said "You won't get an MVD for headaches; they wouldn't consider it debilitating enough".
Eh, what? thinks I. But she's off on a tangent about headaches really being debilitating, of course, but not as far as surgeons were concerned, talking more to the two students who were sitting in than to me, so I correct her, saying, "No, I was talking about my TN. In case I have a problem getting meds to fix this (given said problems with Lamotrigine and higher doses of Tegretol that I've been having), how would I qualify for an MVD operation?" She shakes her head, smiling her smug I-know-better smile, and just says, "Good luck with that." And she just keeps saying it, interspersing it with "I can give you a leaflet if you like". I eventually wrung out of her some vague idea of how I would have to go about applying for an MVD, which really boiled down to I'd be relying on her to sell it to the surgeons. This from a woman who has just repeatedly said "Good luck with that."
After more of this, I gave up. I didn't bother asking her about the B12 deficiency I'd been going to discuss; I'd had quite enough of her stone-wall attitude. And, lest you were wondering, I was the only person in the waiting room. She had no other patients after me, so it wasn't because she was harassed or running late. I've only seen her twice and both times she's pooh-poohed me or laughed at my questions. Exceptionally annoying.
So now I don't want to see her again. She gets paid £100,000 to do that job (just over $200,000 a year), and this incoherent patronising rubbish is the best she can do? I don't think so. She actually wrote on the scribbled note she gave me "Impression: Trigeminal neuralgia, migraine – without cure." We already knew it was TN, she has never said to me it was incurable, and I wasn't seeing her for migraines. We'd already established that they were almost certainly a side effect of Lamotrigine. But the "without cure"? I already knew that, fortunately, but it still depressed me dreadfully, especially given her attitude. But imagine if I hadn't known that. As far as she knew I didn't, and she had certainly never told me – can you imagine that was the way you found out you had an incurable disease.
At the moment I am thinking of complaining about her. But I don't know how I stand as regards demanding to see someone else. Here in the UK we can get a different GP and a second opinion, if we don't like the first, but I'm not sure how it goes with specialists, since they're thinner on the ground. But if this is the NHS's idea of a specialist, I am frankly better off taking my chances with a GP. Absolutely sick of the whole show.
Just to make this doubly insulting, by the way, I walked for two hours to get to the hospital, dreadfully nauseous and in pain the whole way, after 6 weeks of non-stop pain/nausea from these bloody migraines, because I couldn't trust going on the bus to see her due to motion sickness/potential vomiting. And then a three minute interview like this is my 'reward'? I felt like she'd slapped me in the face. Bear in mind too, that I had to wait three months to see her holiness. It's just not on. (How British do I sound right now?)
Well, just had to get that off my chest. If anybody in the UK knows how I stand as regards requesting a different neurologist, I'd be really grateful to hear from you. One of the things that's wrong with the NHS is they've never lost that secret cabal approach to medicine – it's almost impossible to know how it works unless you're an insider! So you don't have the first clue of what you are entitled to and what you're not. So anyone who's more versed on the ladder of NHS hospital/specialist secrets – I'd love to hear from you. Thanks!