I'd love to see some comments/community on how to find love and companionship when one has a long term pain issue or disease. Are there loving, kind, sympathetic, sexy, fun, supportive men out there somewhere :-)
I'm sure many men are asking the same about women. My ex-husband could not handle pain issues, sadly, and kept blaming me for making them up. Fibromyalgia and ATN are not things a person thinks to make up!
There are several online dating services, but it takes a lot of communication and trust before you may feel like mentioning that pain management is part of your life. I think empathy, caring may come from others who have "been there."
I saw a one legged man confidently remove his prosthesis and "walk"/ hop over to the edge of a pool at a gym a little while ago. He got in and did laps with no embarassment. I wanted to applaud his courage for not letting his condition stop him from living. I'm sorry I didn't say anything because sometimes we just need to have a nudge of encouragement to keep living.
The man at the pool might have been offended if you had made a comment..... some people's lifes have changed for the better by "disabilities".....!
Are there any TN support groups in your area? Networking is good.
I think that a man who has weathered/suffered pain in the heart or in the body - is much more able to handle this stuff.
I had another condition or two when I started dating my husband 8 years ago -- and one was bad -- and he accepted me -
I would still try to date "normally" -- and by the second or third date - get a reallllly specific shortish paragraph and a chart or graph - to show the severity and the possible long term effects..... then you can judge his reaction or he can exit stage left! IF you continue to see somebody -- tell them that you need to drop in a sentence here and there to keep educating them along the way. If it looks long term -- MORE education.....but I wouldn't drop much about your ex - men dont like to be compared!
I don't know how much you are affected on a daily basis --- but life is short - Go For It! Gotta kiss alot of frogs.....
We don't want empathy - because only those of us who have been there done that knows exactly how this feels!
We don't want bucket loads of sympathy
We don't want to sound like we are whiney
Its soooo hard for my new hubby to know what to do - He has chronic back pain - and it kinda compares but not really
if I took away all my meds!!!
Hope some of this makes sense -- Trileptal makes my words messed up --- that is why I'm headed for an MVD in Oct.
I would place an online dating ad, and in your description, be completely up front with what you are going through. That way, you weed out the men who can’t take it. The men that respond already know, and they are still interested in you. Good luck!