Do the negitive feelings ever go away?

General General TN & GPN (Old Site)
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I am tired, I am frustrated, I am feeling so beaten down.

Things aren't even super bad. I feel a little guilty for complaining. After a year and a half of searching for answers I have found some relief, but I have to stay on high doses of meds that have irritating side effects. Even with that, I still have daily low level break through pain. My dry mouth leaves sores on my tongue and cheeks. I crave foods that are bad for me constantly, so I am either irritable and restless from cravings, or sluggish and bloated from giving in.

I know this doesn't sound like a picnic, but it is SO many thousands of times better than I was this time last year. Honestly thinking back, I do not understand how I survived months with no diagnosis, and almost a year searching for medication that would help, with out really hurting in other ways. I try to be grateful I have come this far. I can't figure out how to stay satisfied with coming back to 75% of what I was before my TN. I mean, at my worst I was operating at maybe 20%, so 75% should feel good, but I can't help wanting to be back to 100%. I am sick of being in pain. While I am eternally grateful that the medications have helped, I am still in some pain most of the time. It wears me down.

Does it ever start to get easier? Do you ever accept that you can't always do what you want to anymore?

I'm 25, I feel like I have to reevaluate everything I had wanted in life. I had to move in with my parents for support, which I am glad I have but I wish I didn't need. My career is taking a sharp turn because I can barely sustain a part time schedule now. Romance seems even more daunting, where do you find a guy who wants to sign up for a lifetime of this? Children seem too farfetched to consider right now. Then there is the terror that my medications could stop working and I could land right back in the Hell hole that is unregulated TN pain. Do you ever stop being afraid?

Sorry to write a long depressing post. I really am mostly OK, but sometimes you just have to whine a bit. good luck all, and I wish you pain free days.

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I understand exactly how you feel, as I’m sure most everyone here does as well. This all began when I was 25 and I am now 27 years old.
In many, many ways I feel very grateful that I can still go about my daily life, work full-time, travel, be “normal” at least from the outside looking in. But, I still have moments of mourning my old life when I didn’t have this worry, confusion, frustration, agony that comes along with chronic pain.
Honestly, I get the feeling that no matter what the outcome - even miraculous healing - I will always be scarred, in a way, from this and I know it has forever changed me. It has already gotten easier, overall, for me. So maybe for the both of us it will continue to get easier to manage, even if we still do have bad days.

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hi there,

I like to recommend a short audio program that might be of some help with the psychological aspects of our situation: http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Meditation-Pain-Relief-Reclaiming/dp/B0035YCZNS

Best of luck,

H

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whining it think it good. Everyone needs to have a good whine at times. Even people who don’t feel like they have a knife stab in their head. Adjustment is always has ups and downs. Everyone on here understands your adjustments. I’m happy to hear you have family support and I wish you a happy future. Always know when you feel a need to whine we are here to give that ear and understanding.:heart:️

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My lord the top part of your story sounds like I wrote it. Started at 28 am now 29 . Wanted to die when it started am now like you said in a way better place then before but I want 100%!!! I want me back but am also so very greatful for the progress I have made! I stay positive best as can be expected but I still have my days I HATE the world. Take it one day at a time.WE ARE SO STRONG NEVER FORGET THAT

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