Before and After

Hello friends,

I lie awake tonight, knowing that a doctor who is probably sleeping soundly in her bed right now, holds in her hands the future of how the next month will run for my children and I.

I wrote a letter to my clinic, linking many sites. It was humble, complimentary and informative.

I needed to make my case. I do not believe that my PM Clinic is not very informed regarding ATN and what works to control the pain. I sent an e-mail with the link to the description and a "crash course in the treatment of ATN vs. TN'. I hope it at least makes it into her chart. Many hours of research went into it. I e-mailed it to the main site of my clinic, stating my name, date of birth, physician, time and date of appt. in the subject line.

I've been down almost every road and found a dead end, except for pain medication. So, let's see what an M.D. thinks about that fact, which I can prove with records, if needed.

I know that this is in God's hands, but I feel anxiety worse than ever before any job interview. Will she leave me in horrid pain until I can find better care, or write out something that will actually help calm down these ever irritated little nerves on both sides of my face that sear, throb, burn and ache continuously without help?

I'm going to lie down now, pray, meditate a bit, and pretend this all isn't happening and try to find a little sleep before it is time to go before what I feel like is a judge, jury, and executioner, who may misunderstand my case and sentence me to a month in pain worse than prison, or take off the cuffs for awhile.

The Pain Management Experience . . . . .nothing like it.

I never dreamed that nerves in my both sides of my face which burn, sear, pulse, throb, ache, stab and jolt, could put me and my loved ones at the mercy of a stranger.

Let's see how Dr. Damita Bryant at the Center for Spine, Joint and Neuromuscular Rehabilitation handles this one.

Talk to you on the other side of this scary experience of my whole quality of existence for a month being in her, hopefully informed and compassionate hands.

Thanks for listening.

Your friend,

Stef

P.S. If any of you have noticed, we've put together a new "Opiate Therapy" group forum. Sheila has made some informative contributions. If you are interested, please join. It is moderated. to protect members, but I will approve you. There is good info there, so far.

Stef I am praying for you and your PM Dr. Keep us posted.

Sisterly hug,
Sheila

A hug and a prayer for you Stef. I hope they were able to give you something to help with the pain.

First off, more on this, better punctuation and grammar when i am not working from this ipad widget which i dont fully understand how to type well with yet. Yes, i will revisit the subject of how a bad pm appt for an atn patient goes when my laptop can be charged. Charger shredded.



Thank you, Sheila and Jerry. I cannot even go into all of the ignorance regarding my condition i experienced yesterday. None of my current meds were taken away, at least that.



The place where a compassionate professional i used to know is going to take me in. I am so happy. The person who scheduled me used to work there, where i had the appt above, told me thqt they dont even read their charts. I am so happy for an alternative. I think it is the answer to the prayer that me andmy family were looking for, for me.



Oh, I am ok now and that is what cou nts, and that Ihave a caring support group to help. We all are dealing with this horrible problem, but, we are stronger for knowing one another, I believe.

Oh, the mess that paragraph is, but I cannot see to edit properly on this thing. God bless, all!

Stef! I feel your frustration. In one of my blogs I posted about the ER practioner not having a CLUE about my TN, and told me since I was on Neurotin, that she could not give me the Tegretol I know works to relive my pain, (for now)... because she said, and I literally quote "Taking these two anti-siezure medications together, can actually cause you to have a siezure."

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tired!

I literally had to go SEVERAL LONG HOURS waiting for the time she 'thought' the Neurotin would be out of my system, to be able to take the Tegretol. That put me in an inhumane state of agony and violent pain for hours....

I didn't know until 2 days later at my neurologists, that he has some of his TN patients on BOTH Neurotin and Tegretol at the SAME time, and that what she said was ludicrist! He told me to file charges against the hosiptal for neglance. The only problem, is I WORK at that hospital... and it's a Federal hospital... I would rather not fight that demon.

So, I know first hand how it feels, going to a doctor and wonder if they are going to help get you the medication you need. ANY time I even hint at some kind of opiate... they make me feel like a 'drug seeker' telling me that it will not help the pain, since it's associated with my nerves in my face. I have rarely asked, because I still work full time at (that hospital) and I can't work with opiates in my system.

Please, please let us know the outcome! I am so curious. I am also curious of the links and research you have done, so I can learn more. I am a fairly 'new' TN sufferer, diagnosed in 2004, but have only had a couple of violent attacks since then, with small minor ones in the mean time. But They are getting closer together and more painful with each attack, along with facial swelling and my face drooping.... so I would love to read what you gave her to look at. If you have someway to easily share it of course!

Dawn,

I should have re-visited this forum before now. The visit I had with the Pain Management Doctor, who is supposedly an expert on Chronic Pain, following this post, was completely fruitless. She never read the well sourced letter that I sent her, explaining my condition, and showing that long-acting opoids are indicated for ATN pain in many cases.

The reason why I started Opiate Therapy group, is due to the fact that, for many ATN patients, opiates are the only thing which soothes the pain. Tegretol, Carbamazipine and Baclofen did nothing to help me. I've tried a Chiropractor, a physical therapist, etc. I've had a bilateral MRI of my TMJ joints to rule that condition out. I've even asked my Psychologist if I could have an emotional attachment to Opiates. She told me that given my profile, and I have seen her for years, that it was highly unlikely. She also told me a story which parallels a story Red Lawhern told in Opiate Therapy group, about a high level executive who had to be on heavy narcotics to control her pain. In Red's story, the woman actually put two sons through college, if I am not mistaken. I could go on and on about the recreational user vs. the role of the D.E.A. on this matter. But, it is what makes doctors look at us like "drug seekers". I am tired chronic pain patients being treated that way.

No compression can be found on the MRI of my brain . . . .but here is the success story . . . .

Since the horrid Pain Management Clinic visit following my post here (afterwards, I was wrecked with female problems and unable to type long paragraphs, working on an Ipad until I could get a new computer charger . . . .weak and out of the loop, I let this post slide for too long).

Meanwhile, I made my way to another pain clinic, one where the only one of two caring Pain Management Nurse Practitioners I have ever known currently works. I got my letter of discharge from my old clinic. I got that appointment. I am so glad that I did.

I told Kim, my old and now new Nurse Practitioner, my horror story from where she used to work. She immediately got out a book and studied the definitions of TN, and found ATN described as "Atypical Facial Pain", in it. I told her that definition is a "pet peeve" of mine, as Atypical Facial Pain is a "wastebasket diagnosis". If the path of pain follows that of the branches of the 5th cranial nerve, then would not the diagnosis be, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia? She agreed. So did the doctor who she brought in to meet me. He seemed worldly, but humble, as he shook my hand upon entering the room. I explained my problems to him. Rather than being intimidated by my knowledge on the subject, he seemed to admire that I had studied my condition. Other doctors have cut me off with phrases like, "you can't pay attention to what you read on the internet", etc. After hearing me out, he agreed with the Nurse Practitioner that I needed a referral to a new Neurologist for an x-ray of the "Posterior Fossa" (sp?). I asked if , in laymans terms, this meant, "the back of the head where the cranial nerves are". They said I was right, yes it was. I told them that I had asked this question in my support group. (refer to "MRI of the TN Nerve", an old discussion of mine in which Red and our member, Vesper, go more in-depth with their explanations of research on this particular type of MRI. She calls it "Trigeminal Protocol MRI", and tells me how thinly an MRI machine can slice to view potential compressions - Red may jump in if I did not phrase all of that right, feel free, Red).

Yes, the fact that I need this particular MRI, although phrased differently by different experts I've spoken with, has always seemed like a "no brainer" to me.

The upshot of my last appointment is that the doctor I met with DOES know of the diagnosis "Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia", and DOES agree that it is not as responsive to the surgeries and drugs which are typically used to treat Type I cases. Based upon my description, he agrees that I am a clear cut case of ATN. He gave me the medications which have opened up my world again. I have had one flair-up now in FOUR DAYS! I was beginnning to think that I would hurt every day for the rest of my life. But, no. Currently, I am maintained on the 3 30 mg Morphine Sulfate daily (I've only been needing two), 2 15 mg. Oxycodone HCL for breakthrough pain, 600 mg.x 3 daily Neurontin (I requested this, but haven't needed to use it), and Cymbalta 90 mg. daily (upon request, should I need it), as well as the 4-5 10 mg. Diazepam prescribed by my psychologist.

This sounds like a lot of medication. But, the worst side-effects I am feeling are a bit of nausea and grogginess, while my body adjusts to the Morphine Sulfate. I will take that over the crushing, searing, throbbing, aching hellilsh pain I was having in my face prior to my prescriptions.

I am surprised that medical staff anywhere would not be allowed to take pain medication, as many doctors have to take something for pain, for one reason or another.

Dawn, I am wondering if you have been seeing a Pain Management Clinic. Neurologists and General Practitioners are hesitant to prescribe opiates. They tend to lump Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia patients in with regular TN patients, who are more responsive to anti-convulsants and surgery. As another member of this site pointed out to me recently, Fibromyalgia is also a neurological disorder. Yet, doctors seem to have far less inhibitions to prescribing them pain medications.

As ATN patients, we suffer from a rarer form of an already rare disorder. It is not widely understood by most healthcare professionals, nor is it even named correctly in a lot of medical literature, including what is known as the TN bible, "Striking Back", which addresses classic TN symptoms and dismisses ATN as "Atypical Facial Pain". Our diagnosis is new and correct. When the 5th cranial nerve is involved, it is a "Trigeminal Neuralgia". However, the symptoms generally follow the same pattern, as mine which I have described above.

I will copy and paste the letter I sent to my Pain Management Specialist, who did not care, in a following post. It contains the links I discussed. Somewhere, within each link, if they are still valid, you will find that Trigeminal Neuralgia may be treated with opiates. I included many, so they may not be discredited. I can think of one Major Medical Institution right now, that I was shocked and appalled to find, still describes ATN as ATFP. The term ATFP lends itself more towards an indistinct group of symptoms, which may or may not be related to the 5th cranial nerve, thus nullifying it's credibility as a diagnosis, and the patient's prescriptions, and understanding of his/her specific condition is lessened, I feel with this "pass-the-buck-we-don't-know" description of ATN.

I will climb down from my soap box now. Thank you for asking about the subjects I feel most passionate about, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, and the opiate therapy that most of us require to gain any relief from it's constant, agonizing symptoms.

Please excuse any Type-o's made here, or repetition. It is Sunday and there is much work for me to do as a mother of two, around the house, to prepare for the upcoming school week!

As a Christian, on a personal note, I would like to give God the glory. I awaited my prescriptions, alone in the room I had been seen in by the informed Doctor and the compassionate Nurse Practitioner. I already felt comfortable that I had been understood by both, but I jotted down a small prayer, for a prescription to relieve my pain and bring my children's Mom back to more of who she was before ATN struck her down so hard, especially in the light that they have lost their Dad. I also prayed on my Fiance's behalf, for his life has been impacted so hard a) because his future wife suffered so with an invisible illness, which he never doubted for a minute, b) we are still relatively young, and he would like to get out and enjoy life with me, while we can. That day, a prayer was answered, for me.

I only want the same for each and every one of the people here at LTN, some of whom I know well enough to call "extended family", all of whom I already consider brothers and sisters, as they know the same demon I know, the pain which is TN and ATN. It is personal. It is life-changing. It is the big-cahoona of pain syndromes, and what is possibly "the worst pain known to man". It would be my prayer that each of you receive INFORMED AND COMPASSIONATE HEALTH CARE !!! You deserve nothing less both for you, and those who love and need you.

I feel so lucky today. I feel as if I may have found what will get me, once again, moving forward in a life interrupted by this illness.

Your friend,

Stef a/k/a S-Curve :)

Draft of the letter, below in italics, sent to ineffective Pain Management Physician. It includes the links that I think Dawn was requesting. Others are in my blog, "The Last Resort and Fresh Beginning Just Beyond My Reach". I have since seen a more understanding Doctor and Nurse Practitioner at another practice (see my reply to Dawn):

Dear Staff Member of SJNMR,

First of all, I want to comment you on a job well done in serving those with Chronic Pain, such as myself.

Secondly, I have an appointment this morning in your Brentwood office with Dr. Bryant. I hope that this correspondence makes it's way to her, and possibly into my file, before my appointment.

I do not believe in web diagnosing, but I fit the description of an Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia patient. I know she has degrees which help her be much more in the know about pain management than, I. So I respectfully submit my research on my rare condition. It is the first time, as it is my first visit with this particular physician. The following link is the
most apt description of my pain:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atypical_trigeminal_neuralgia

I speak with Trigeminal Neuralgia patients all over the world and have created a sub-group for support of Atypical, or Type II Trigeminal Neuralgia within a larger TN support group community. I am also a member of the American Pain Association.

I have seen a Neurologist, Dr. Lisboa, at St. Thomas Hospital who did not refer me for surgery. I read that it has a low success rate for individuals in my condition from many sources.

I phoned your clinic 3/4/11, to inform your staff that I had to go to the E.R. 3/3/11, at Sumner Regional Medical Center, due to unbearable pain associated with my condition. I was mercifully stabilized using 2mg. Dilaudid and a Fentanyl patch. I was told that this would not interfere with the medicines prescribed by my Pain Clinic.

As per protocol, I called to inform SJNMR of my E.R. visit. Shelly, who I saw by accident when Angie was out sick insisted on my not seeing my regular APN, Angie, that I would need to see Dr. Bryant instead. This had actually been my idea to begin with because I was requesting a med change. But, then I got scared to change physicians. I need to be stable. The front desk said I have an appt. w/ Angie at 1 p.m. the same day, but I intend to keep my appt. to see Dr. Bryant.

I am looking forward to her ideas of how I can achieve longer lasting Pain Management for my rare and chronic pain condition. I am raising two girls, 8 and 15, to raise and would like to return to the workforce. To do this, my pain must be addressed like and ATN patient, not a regular TN patient, who would respond better to anti-convulsants.

This is the link to the group where I am a Moderator and provide support to other members. On the main page, a reference is made to pain management with long-acting opioids when other medicines do not provide adequate pain control:

http://www.livingwithtn.org/

Here are some links to information, which I respectfully request be added to my file, as my condition is rare and Pain Management is the only option currently available to me. Or, at least, I respectfully request that they be scanned over by my physician. Please note that, somewhere in the text of all of these references, it is stated that this condition may be treated with long acting opoids. They are as follows:


http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Trigeminal_neuralgia

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=123311394363692&topic=86

http://www.dalcross.com/trigeminal_neuralgia.php

http://www.doctorbhatia.com/Neurological/trigeminal-neuralgia

http://www.fpa-support.org/2011/02/pain-treatment-with-opioids-achieving-the-minimal-effective-and-the-minimal-interacting-dose/

http://www.thirdage.com/q/1541532/how-rare-is-atypical-trigemina

This following piece from the American Pain Society, relates specifically to the drug Methadone and it's misunderstood and
stigmatized usage in the treatment of Chronic Pain:

http://www.ampainsoc.org/pub/bulletin/sep00/upda1.htm



This following article addresses how my Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia may be related to my Cervical Spine Problems documented on MRI:

http://www.erinelster.com/ConditionsDetail.aspx?ConditionID=25

I am not trying to be my own doctor. I am in what I am sure are the capable hands of Dr. Bryant today.

I hope that this independent research I have done helps my case, and possibly others who suffer from the same chronic pain condition. I am not an addict. I am dependent upon pain medication, as it is the only thing that my condition has ever responded to, and can work synergistically with anti-convulsants. I AM addicted to pain relief!

I know that The Center for Spine, Joint and Neuromuscular Rehabilitation is a knowlagable and compassionate Pain Management Practice, with a staff who wants to leave no one in pain. I am a Chronic Pain sufferer who seeks longer lasting pain relief, so that I may achieve my aspirations to be a better parent, return to the workforce, and seek higher education, so that I may help others like myself, as you do. This may sound auspicious, but it is my goal in life, now!

I look forward to my upcoming appointment with Dr. Macke for further assessment as a patient. I am particularly interested in Chronic Pain Counseling.

Respectfully yours, your long time patient,

Stefanie L. Poulton,


Jerry and Sheila, your concern expressed below is touching and returned, as I know both of you have had severe complications since this post was made.

Dawn, to you as well, and thank you for your curiosity. Through exchange of ideas, experience and knowledge with our own journey's with this disorder, finding out what works and what hasn't, I believe we are all better prepared going into the office of any healthcare professional. We are armed with a collective knowledge !

Anyone who seeks further information, please request to join our "Opiates Therapy" group, featuring great information provided by Sheila, Red Lawhern, as well as others! There is a lot of good information there for those who must be managed with pain medication for any quality of life. This is a moderated group for the protection of our members, but feel free to join. Tracy, Gloria or I will promptly approve you as a member.

Wishes to all for compassionate and informed care,

Stef

Sheila and Jerry,

I am happy to report, that because of my appointment on the 21st of March, my pain is now, for the most part under control. Someone got it! I am so grateful.

It seems almost too good to be true, sometimes. The new medicines that I am on, Morphine Sulfate, and Oxycodone HCL for breakthrough pain, comes with side effects, but I feel better than I have in years, and without the fogginess I had expected. I feel alert!

YOUR PRAYERS WORKED! Thank you so much! Know that that I will be praying for the both of you, as well!

Huge Hugs!