Geesh I did it again....You'd think after 4 years I would have this figured out by now but NO, I must either be so stubborn and prideful or still in denial about this pain disability. Thankfully I was able to book for later when I can set up rides to make sure I get to my medical appointments. I can't drive high on meds and my adult children have jobs,etc the bus system is no good for me when it's far away and I'm in pain and "wobbly". As usual, I forgot to deal with the paper work that my Dr. has signed for me to apply for the "handicap" bus to get to these appt.'s. I'm thinking it's pride because the thought of getting on that bus without being "crippled" or in a wheel chair, etc. just makes me want to cry!!!! Why? Because it means that I am "crippled" just in a different way, I do also have trouble walking too far with Osteoarthritis in my knee and ankles and lower back BUT I don't look handicapped and that's what maybe this is all about for me and many of you. The old life of independence and working and doing for others has been gone for quite awhile now.....even though it seems like just yesterday I was sooooo strong, hardly took a pill for a headache. I over did it on the weekend with my Grandchildren and the yard, thought I was being so careful but the weather was just so nice and of course my little Grandkids are just so cute!!
So yet another chapter will begin in my life if I'm accepted into this awesome city run handibus program that is run in Calgary Alberta, it's called Access Calgary.
The upside will be that I will get to these appt.'s to help this process. Even as I shed a few tears as to where this life of pain has taken me, the appt. I missed was with the Chronic Pain Centre that I have waited 11/2 years to get into. Thank God the lady was really nice and understanding and supportive. There will be a next time. The program sounds awesome and I might get some more answers and some more relief. They do an orientation first, then you meet with a team of Drs and specialists and psychologists, sounds intense.
You need to make those appts. girl! Is a friend available to take you maybe.If you need to take the handicap bus just do it.It doesn't sound so bad.I was bad about putting things off.It doesn't help at all.It always goes much better and smoother than you sit and worry about.
Ya, I know. No I don't have anyone that can take me, I have to apply for the handicap bus and then however long it takes for the process until I find out if I can use it or not. I'm hoping I can, especially through the winter. I haven't had that bad of TN pain for awhile and when it hit last week it brought me down, so I upped the meds and I've been in a blur ever since the pain! So now I've got to get the paper work done.
Thanks for the advice Kc, I must do that. Before coming here I never would have thought that could happen but from hearing from others, it's a high possibility! I was kind of surprised when I was told that there would also be Psychologists and just assumed it would be for any troubles adjusting to the pain and the meds, ie sadness or depression. But ya, they might try to say that! This will be interesting!
I think my Dr. thinks it's all in my head. It seems to be the trendy thought pattern with some Dr.'s. Kc Dancer Kc said:
Will be waiting to see what the Pain Center has for you!
I HOPE the psychologists are there to see if you need counseling for being sad for having TN
and NOT have them there
to judge you and tell you your pain is in your mind!
It's not bad enough we have to live like this! I've never been on anything hard except the one time T4's, I have a good track record of filling my Gabapentin, T3's, and Flexeril later which shows that I never use up my meds which I'm allowed to. I'm like most people who don't like being on all these meds but when I asked for something stronger just to have on hand with my other Dr. all he would give me was Torodol which I can't take much of due to my high blood pressure and this Dr. I have now agrees with that. I don't understand! Why give me something that interacts with my high blood pressure meds and not give me something stronger that won't interact with other meds or conditions?!?!?!?!
The only thing I can think of is that the drug abusers have ruined it for those of us that need pain killers that will help!
Also they don't understand or are inexperienced with TN and TMJ. My circle of people has diminished big time, no one seems to bother to learn about this, so I have to wonder if they even believe me!! :(
I'm getting better at not concerning myself with that too much. I know it's real and I'm the one that has to live with it.
I'm so thankful for this online support!!
How long have you been a member here and how long have you had TN?
Kc Dancer Kc said:
Yes, keep a paper trail of all doctors, meds, doses from pharmacist, what you have tried at home, on your face......
So they don't think you are seeking hard drugs.....or cazy!
it's a shame to worry about THAT AND a rare disease!
I think it is difficult for people to understand and they do seem to flee rather than try, personally think that sucks, but not only experienced it with me but my hubby who became permanetly disabled a couple years ago, he is only 52, I am only 47, but we keep on the best we can. Don't let yourself feel crippled, take the help of the bus, you may meet some really nice people along the way! While getting the help you need and deserve. Be good to yourself, I am the worst at beating myself up, but I know that does no good. Appreciate the good days, the good things and be very kind to yourself all the time! We all get down and frustrated at times that is for sure, but this site is the best support ever and we do understand. I think visiting with a psychologist is a good idea with such chronic, intense pain, I go and it helps. Sometimes they have good suggestions or just a good listening ear, not all understand, just like Dr's, but finding the right help is first and foremost and I hope you will do that! Sending gentle hugs,
I think it is difficult for people to understand and they do seem to flee rather than try, personally think that sucks, but not only experienced it with me but my hubby who became permanetly disabled a couple years ago, he is only 52, I am only 47, but we keep on the best we can. Don't let yourself feel crippled, take the help of the bus, you may meet some really nice people along the way! While getting the help you need and deserve. Be good to yourself, I am the worst at beating myself up, but I know that does no good. Appreciate the good days, the good things and be very kind to yourself all the time! We all get down and frustrated at times that is for sure, but this site is the best support ever and we do understand. I think visiting with a psychologist is a good idea with such chronic, intense pain, I go and it helps. Sometimes they have good suggestions or just a good listening ear, not all understand, just like Dr's, but finding the right help is first and foremost and I hope you will do that! Sending gentle hugs,
Thanks Betsy, I'm having a much better day today. Funny but I look back over the week and it feels like it was a month. Things are getting back to my normal bit by bit, I also had a flood in the basement from a clog in the drain so I couldn't use the washer or the shower but today they got it unplugged so that's good!! As usual I have stuff to catch up on but I'll just take it bit by bit! I think I also felt guilty to apply for the use of the handicap bus but I guess that is part of the denial when a person isn't in the throws of the pain. Thanks to you guys for reassuring me that I have to do what I have to do in order to get to my appointments....Have a good day all!
:)
Cheryl said:
Thanks Betsy,
Betsy Carlson said:
I think it is difficult for people to understand and they do seem to flee rather than try, personally think that sucks, but not only experienced it with me but my hubby who became permanetly disabled a couple years ago, he is only 52, I am only 47, but we keep on the best we can. Don't let yourself feel crippled, take the help of the bus, you may meet some really nice people along the way! While getting the help you need and deserve. Be good to yourself, I am the worst at beating myself up, but I know that does no good. Appreciate the good days, the good things and be very kind to yourself all the time! We all get down and frustrated at times that is for sure, but this site is the best support ever and we do understand. I think visiting with a psychologist is a good idea with such chronic, intense pain, I go and it helps. Sometimes they have good suggestions or just a good listening ear, not all understand, just like Dr's, but finding the right help is first and foremost and I hope you will do that! Sending gentle hugs,
Hope today is even better! Just wanted to add I remember vividly the first time I had to hang the handicap sign in our car, it made my hubby's condition REAL, I think with TN we think the same way, using the bus makes it real and that is truly hard. But I do know the people that use the bus here to go to dialysis and or appointments have all become close friends! Like you said catch up a bit at a time, it will come. Take care and gentle hugs )
Thanks Betsy, I too remember hanging that sign up in my car for the first time (4 years ago) I went grocery shopping, I felt so guilty that I fake limped but when I came back out I did not need to fake it, lol.
I finished the forms for the application for the Handicap Bus and will mail it tomorrow.
I managed to get a few things done today but my TMJ was not happy about that as one of them was vacuuming!
Take care,
Cheryl
Betsy Carlson said:
Hope today is even better! Just wanted to add I remember vividly the first time I had to hang the handicap sign in our car, it made my hubby's condition REAL, I think with TN we think the same way, using the bus makes it real and that is truly hard. But I do know the people that use the bus here to go to dialysis and or appointments have all become close friends! Like you said catch up a bit at a time, it will come. Take care and gentle hugs )