17 pills a day

17 pills a day…and I’m still in so much pain.

17 pills a day…and I’m embarrassed everyday at how “dumb”, "forgetful ", “repetitive”, and more dumb I’ve become.

17 pills a day…within these 4 walls for 14 months, no hope of returning to work any time soon.

17 pills a day…lost my independence of driving 14 months ago.

17 pills a day… And I’m only 40, life supposedly begins at 40…mine took a detour at 39.

17 pills a day…and I’m waiting not very patiently for my mvd, anytime in the next 7 months…feeling horrible that I hope someone else cancels their mvd so that I can have mine.
Hoping my name is first on the cancellation list. : (

17 pills a day… I’m losing what little sanity and positive outlook I’ve held onto for so long.

17 pills a day… And I don’t recognize who I am anymore…

17 pills a day…as one who practices the art of gratitude each day, today I declare feel sorry for myself day…I’m not grateful today, I’m sad. I am going to cry, I am going to release all this negativity before it eats me up and spits me out.

17 pills a day…tomorrow I’ll meditate, be grateful, be strong and paste on my smiley face…

17 pills a day…today is a necessary day of mourning and facing the emotional side effects that tend to build and overwhelm at times.

17 pills a day… “this too shall pass”

Mimi

Mimi

A beautiful way to let it all out.

Sending you a "hug".

Jenny

I am having a sad day too and wondering IF this too shall pass....I can totally relate to every bit of this. hugs

Oh Mimi! I am so sorry you are having this day. You are so strong for all of us....................so today is our day to be strong for YOU! I wish I was near you so I could come by and just hug you or do whatever you need. But I can't, so here is a (((((((((((((((((BIG GIANT HUG)))))))))))))))))))). I will pray that you can get your surgery VERY SOON. And I will pray that you can get through your day of mourning. Message me if you need to!

We love you. You often let others lean on you. It is time for us to return the favor. I respect it can be hard to not give up hope, but something my mother often reminds me is this, " Sarah Ann remember it is often the darkest before the dawn."

Hugs <3

Mimi, sorry you’re feeling down, can’t say anything to make the pain better, wish I could…so shall send you 17 prayers and 17 hugs and hope that there’s a good day around the corner for you x

Hi Mimi,
Accepting our new normal can be the biggest challenge. I can relate, being only one year older and a memory of a ninty year old. I also walk like im drunk on really bad days since starting lyrica. Yes still in pain. You are so right, it will feel better after a good cry to let it out and do what you need to do to get back on your feet and stand strong. Its just too much. i love your comment, this too shall pass, very fitting :slight_smile: you are amazing. Each day is gift and a pain. Thanks for sharing and letting us help you while youve helped so many. Always here.
hugs and prayers,
Tracy

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your kind words and hugs…not out of the sad feeling just yet…I think the constant pain is really just wearing me down…understandable… One moment at a time, but so nice to have this community that really truly just understands where I’m at…
Mimi xx

Mimi, just read your post from the other day. You touch my heart and I just wish I could give you a hug. You are always there to give others support on their bad days, offering advice and showing you care. Yes, we have these bad days, sometimes they last so long, and yes it always feels better to cry it out. I hope you are feeling stronger. xx

Thanks Gen, I’m actually still struggling …sigh…
The pain has been relentless and a migraine decided to join in on the fun on Saturday… Right now as I’m typing is the first time in like 4 days that my pain level is below a 7/10…knock on wood.
Hoping this reprieve lasts a little while…
Thanks for your note, I really appreciate it.
Mimi xx

I Am so sorry , I feel ur pain! hugsssss!

Thanks yaya, (((( hugs)))) right back at ya!
Hope you are well…

hi darlin..im sorry you felt so awful but at the same time im so glad you vented it a little through this passage you wrote..its ok not to paste on a smiley face everyday, we understand <3

Beautiful, Mimi. I know it must seem like an oxymoron to call a poem about such suffering beautiful, but it really touched me. This is where I have been lately, overwhelmed with despair, feeling the sweet release that comes with crying and getting it out, sometimes not feeling grateful, wanting to be selfish and have my life back the way it was before TN... but picking myself up and going on because "this too shall pass."

Thank you, Mimi, for sharing this heartfelt poem.

I feel you sister. I have to take a few more pills than 17 but that's die to other things going on on top of the TN. I have CFS/EB and 3 other illnesses on top of the TN. It's awful and some days I want to just curl up and cry and be sad, then I have days where I am strong and ready to fight this. My TN pain has actually been getting worse so we're upping the medicine but knowing that there are so many others like us makes it a little easier somehow. Beautiful post...