Well I'll open by saying I hope that none of you remember me, and that anyone that might will be long gone and living the happy life of remission, if that isn't the case, hello, and I hope you;ll forgive my prolonged absence.
I've not been on the site for a long time, ( or any other patient help sites, it hasn't been a boycot or anything!) there are a lot of reasons for that,a run of family crisis, a horrendous depression and then finally a remission- after 6 years of daily pain.
There were a lot of things that kept me away, but I got to a position where to make any progress I needed to shift my focus, and I felt that all the time I spent focused on the pain was detrimental to my mental health, a mental state which had got to a very dangerous and procarious level. I am certain that the tegretol played an enormous part in that, but that ,my friends is another story for another blog, and one that I will maybe get round to telling you about soon.
I have however been off all medication for about 9 months, I got a remission and although I would have occasional twinges there were no full blown attacks, and only twice that I had to take some tegretol- and that was only because I was at work- but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was able to live my life again, and I was getting on with doing exactly that.
In the last week that has changed dramatically. It started with a few big zaps ,following a cold which had left me with a sore throat ,the cold was nothing extreme but the zaps were getting stronger and a lot more frequent although not regular enough to stop me in my tracks or to warrant any meds. The cold went, but the zaps continued, yesterday morning I felt my left tonsil swollen, it was uncomfortable but nothing too unpleasant. No zaps in the morning, but the afternoon brought round attacks that had me screaming for the rest of the day.
Extra strength strepsily things, anti inflams and hot drinks eased it a little, my reasoning being that the swollen tonsil was putting pressure on the nerve causing it to flare so anti inflams were the way to go. 5 am this morning the pain woke me and continued solidly for an hour.
I took an anti inflam and fast acting tegretol combo and after lots of yelps, screams and tears I got some sleep, I've kept topping up the tablets since.
It was only at the weekend that my hubby and I had been talking about how good my pain had been and what a blessing it was to be free of it- and the tegretol- nothing like speaking too soon.
I am desperatley hoping that that the swollen tonsil will be on its way and when it goes it will take the pain with it, but I was never under any illusion that the remission would be permanent.
So I am here again back in the ranks, an old hand at the pain, but back to feeling like an overwhelmed newbie.