I am wondering how to deal with a husband that is very angry with me when I have TN and migraine attacks. I am feeling very alone and defeated. I know his life is so negatively impacted but I also have no control so I end up feeling worthless.
It seems to me that getting back some of your power might be a good idea for you. Your husband isn't helping, and may be causing you harm by his insensitivity. Call a local hospital and ask for referral from their patient relations office to a local counselor or psychologist who has training in chronic pain issues. If your husband won't go with you, then pack his bag and leave it on the doorstep. I realize this may seem harsh. But some folks need a wake up call. If he isn't part of the solution, then he may be part of the problem.
Another option to explore: talk with other family members or a close friend about getting their assistance to get out of the house more often for brief community outings. "You are not alone" is a message of empowerment and very often of emotional healing. Lowering your overall stress levels is a wise project, to lower your sensitivity to pain and reduce the "misery" component of your TN experience.
I write as the spouse of a TN patient whom I have supported for nearly 20 years. Learning about her medical issues was the beginning of my service to online communities of chronic face pain patients.
Go in Peace and Power
Red Lawhern, Ph.D.
Moderator and Resident Research Analyst, LWTN
See if you can get another sympathetic member of the family to speak to your husband. He needs to realize what you are going through. You are not worthless. Never think that.
Thank you so much for your sympathetic response
Richard A. “Red” Lawhern said:
It seems to me that getting back some of your power might be a good idea for you. Your husband isn’t helping, and may be causing you harm by his insensitivity. Call a local hospital and ask for referral from their patient relations office to a local counselor or psychologist who has training in chronic pain issues. If your husband won’t go with you, then pack his bag and leave it on the doorstep. I realize this may seem harsh. But some folks need a wake up call. If he isn’t part of the solution, then he may be part of the problem.
Another option to explore: talk with other family members or a close friend about getting their assistance to get out of the house more often for brief community outings. “You are not alone” is a message of empowerment and very often of emotional healing. Lowering your overall stress levels is a wise project, to lower your sensitivity to pain and reduce the “misery” component of your TN experience.
I write as the spouse of a TN patient whom I have supported for nearly 20 years. Learning about her medical issues was the beginning of my service to online communities of chronic face pain patients.Go in Peace and Power
Red Lawhern, Ph.D.
Moderator and Resident Research Analyst, LWTN
Dear Barb’s hubby, I might want to pack you a bag,( no, me you would be picking your drawls out of the bushes, and everything else out of mud puddles!!!)but for real this disease is hard on evevryone.Do you really love her and did you really marry her in sickness and health, and for better or worse? Well this is probably the worse!!! Please try and get the book “strikinking back” if you don’t already have it and just skim through it if nothing else, take a few mins. and read some of the post here. NO one here would wish this on anyone !!!It’s ok if you don’t get, PLEASE SHE NEED YOUR SUPPORT RIGHT NOW!!! She has know choice but to deal with it!,Be Glad it’s not the LARGEST NERVE IN YOUR FACE OR HEAD MESSED UP!!!THINK ABOUT IT, IT’S RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR BRAIN!!! WHO KNOWS WHAT THE NERVES ARE GOING TO DO AND WHEN!!!Think about it from her spot for a min. what ever that is, because we are so different,it effects all different and some the same. YOU CAN LEAVE SHE HAS KNOW CHICE!!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! HELP,AND SUPPORT HER!!! SOFT HUGS,BARB, Dawn