I’ve had ATN2 and chronic migraines for 3 yrs, sudden onset of both. Pain has become part of my life and of those around me, even though it has become 70% lessened after surgery 2 yrs ago. I realized about a month ago that working just wasn’t…working. Too many variables that I can’t control.
I know that as of late, when I am in pain, I become angry. Yelling, snippy, rude, to my husband, 7yr old and beagle, and anyone if we are out. My pain used to make me quiet and secluded, back into my quiet dark room.
Is this because I’m just so tired of it- PAIN EVERYDAY? Or is there another reason I’ve become pissy?
Anyone else feeling the same?
I suspect you'll have a lot of company on this one, Pink. Pain is fatiguing and for some people depressing. Anger can be a way for depression to vent indirectly instead of overwhelming you. If you are able to push your own limits to some degree, it might be a good idea to try to find ways to "get out more", both alone and with your husband. I realize that isn't always easy to do.
Know how you feel! Go from being quiet and not wanting to see anyone and just screaming inside privately to being snippy and horrid to everyone! Sick of explaining what's going on so try to avoid social situations although that's near impossible with a reception job and 3 children and hubby! Spend a lot of time wishing I could exist as a hermit even though i obviously love everyone around me!. When's it all going to end! Feel pretty down about it right now! Pain out the blue is real crappy, frustrating and HORRID!!!! Sorry to ven but fed up!
Cathy, it’s the exact same for me too. It is comforting to know that someone else out there is going through the same stuff.
Cathy Kitchen said:
Know how you feel! Go from being quiet and not wanting to see anyone and just screaming inside privately to being snippy and horrid to everyone! Sick of explaining what’s going on so try to avoid social situations although that’s near impossible with a reception job and 3 children and hubby! Spend a lot of time wishing I could exist as a hermit even though i obviously love everyone around me!. When’s it all going to end! Feel pretty down about it right now! Pain out the blue is real crappy, frustrating and HORRID!!! Sorry to ven but fed up!
Oh my family can attest to my short temper and snappiness …pain is exhausting. You’re not alone. It’s a constant struggle, but something I’ve focused on is this; I can’t control the TN, it has a mind of it’s own, BUT I can
( for the most part ) control how I react to my emotions . Sone days are easier than others, but things that help me are journaling, meditation, listening to calming music, colouring in my new adult colouring book! ( so fun and relaxing) as well as talking about my feelings…acknowledging your feelings , feeling them then letting them go…
My life changed 100% when my TN came out of a lengthy remission 4 years ago, I’m home 24/7 with moments of lesser pain that allow me out infrequently.
I can tell you this, the cycles of grief / the emotional roller coaster keeps going, you just find new ways to cope and handle it…and you still snap at loved ones once in awhile and promptly apologize…we’re human.
(( hugs )) Mimi
I can totally relate with your feelings Pink, and those who've responded with the same feelings. I am 1 yr and 5 days past my first MVD and have pain returning along with the development of TN on the other side. The emotional and physical struggle is intense at times. I've turned to meditation to try and help with the emotions of it all. My children are older (21, 22, and 25) and don't live at home so they are not as "involved" with my emotions of it all. My husband travels a LOT on business (typically is only home on the weekends) so I'm by myself the majority of the time. I delve into my work and pampering myself when possible. I've found it is ok to be in the moment with whatever is going on with you. If you need to be alone, be alone. Stay strong and know you are not alone! {{hugs}}
Jeanie